Jewish World Review March 13, 2014 / 11 Adar II, 5774
Annoying people: There ought to be a law
By John Kass
JewishWorldReview.com | It's clear that Americans are irritated by some of our annoying, stupid, idiotic laws.
Like the law in
That's why I was so thrilled to hear about the so-called Annoying Law of
If there's one thing this country needs, it's a law against people who are annoying. And jail time, to give the annoying people something to think about as they cool their heels in a cell.
Sadly, the town of
The culprit is one
Like the one that makes it illegal for anyone other than a police officer to "molest" a bird's nest (again with the molesting). They also threw out the one that sent habitually late library book borrowers to the pokey. OK, let's throw that one out and be merciful.
But they're annoying the heck out of me by getting rid of the Annoying Law. Enacted 38 years ago, it included a jail sentence of up to 90 days.
"I don't believe the court would ever have allowed us to try and enforce this," Mish said in a telephone interview. "If there's an ordinance that you know isn't enforceable, we should just take it off the books."
The reason the law was unworkable is that the town fathers of
On Tuesday, city officials struck the Annoying Law from the books. They're also preparing to erase the ban on molesting birds' nests.
"Bad things can happen when you leave antiquated things on the books because they can be used against people," Mish said. "We hate to leave any tool for selective enforcement in the code. If we can weed them out, we certainly try to be proactive about this sort of thing."
Well, I certainly hope you're happy,
But when America is overwhelmed by wave after wave of annoying behavior and some sociologist asks me why, I'll just say, "It's
Mish and others opposed to the Annoying Law keep referencing some 200-year-old document with a Bill of Rights and other stuff. Apparently, it's a pamphlet that annoys many
"We really can't jail someone for being annoying," said City Manager
You can't? What an outrage!
So I've decided, in my wisdom, to define what's annoying in America. And anyone who violates this new law will spend 90 days in the pokey, subsisting solely on bologna sandwiches or, if religious issues are involved, sardines and crackers. Maybe fruit wraps too.
Henceforth, anyone who repeatedly cracks his or her knuckles within earshot of another human being (especially if he's your father and you're my son) will be dubbed "Annoying" and spend 90 days in jail.
Also defined as annoying are:
But what about elected officials?
Any politician who says the words "much-needed revenue" rather than "we're taxing the heck outta you 'cause we can" gets 90 days. Minimum. Likewise if they say "we must invest in the future" rather than "I'm buying votes with your money."
There ought to be a law.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
John Kass is a columnist for the Chicago Tribune.
© 2014, Chicago Tribune. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.