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May 13, 2013
David G. Savage: Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church
May 10, 2013
Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be
May 8, 2013
Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas
Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate
Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad
The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility
May 6, 2013
May 3, 2013
Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell
Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine
April 29, 2013
Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust
Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots?
Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed
Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA
April 26, 2013
Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism
Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty
April 24, 2013
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Jewish World Review
March 29, 2013 / 18 Nissan, 5773
The News in Zingers
By
Argus Hamilton
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The Supreme Court deliberations on gay marriage Tuesday drew scalpers' ticket prices of six thousand dollars. This explains the easy laughs the liberal judges were getting from the crowd. When you pay six thousand dollars a ticket, you show up ready to have a great time. 
The Supreme Court case on gay marriage Tuesday saw protesters liken conservative justices to the KKK. Not true. The Klan is a bunch of guys in white robes who scare black people while the Supreme Court's a bunch of people in black robes who scare white people. 
Nike saluted Tiger Woods in an ad saying Winning Solves Everything. They're bragging that they never dropped him despite his serial adultery. In fact Nike's coming out with a new running shoe which releases tacks behind them designed to flatten the tires of your spouse. 
General David Petraeus gave his first speech since resigning as CIA Director Tuesday and apologized for his extramarital affair. He's been miserable. The general had sex with his biographer which means from now on he'll only have sex with his autobiographer. 
Congress was urged in an efficiency report to conduct more business on Capitol Hill via teleconferencing from their home states. It won't happen. Washington D.C. is a city of vice, corruption and temptation, and the longer you're away from it, the more you miss it. 
Major League Baseball's ban on beer in the clubhouse was extended to minor league teams. It's a new world. Imagine the shock some young players are going to feel this week when they're assigned to the Double-A team and when they arrive it's an AA meeting. 
Italy ordered Amanda Knox to be re-tried for the murder of a college kid in Milan. She is back in America now but was in an Italian jail for four years. Her only regret is that she wasn't locked away in Spain where the language is a lot more useful once she got home. 
North Korea's Kim Jung-Un threatened the West Coast Tuesday and that night Jay Leno told three jokes about President Obama. Everything's moving forward. When the Pentagon made contingency plans to fight a two-front war, they didn't know it would require firing a comic and loading the Tonight Show in a C-130 and moving it to New York.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
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