Jewish World Review March 29, 2012/ 6 Nissan, 5772
The News in Zingers
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Florida shooter George Zimmerman said Trayvon Martin slugged him and broke his nose and slammed his head into the concrete. The cops looked at him and believed the shooting was self-defense. If a grand jury agrees, TVs will be free for a couple of nights.
The New York Times refused to label George Zimmerman a Hispanic man Monday. They've insisted on calling him a white Hispanic. That way, in addition to being presumed guilty for shooting Trayvon Martin, he is also guilty of looting the gold from the Incas and Aztecs.
GE Lighting's headquarters in Cleveland dug up a time capsule buried a century ago that include five light bulbs. Everybody wants one. Those dim lights that became law in January are proof that the Optometrists Association gave generously to the Democrats.
Mitt Romney's campaign reported a huge influx of campaign donations Monday. The GOP's moneyed interests seem to agree he's inevitably going to be the nominee. Mitt Romney is an inspiration to every guy that a woman settled on for lack of better prospects.
President Obama's illegal alien uncle George Onyango gave up his driver's license to Boston police after a DUI conviction Tuesday. He had to verify employment. They knew he works at Conti's liquor store, they didn't know he works there as a product demonstrator.
President Obama was caught on a microphone telling Russia's president Dmitri Medvedev he can be more flexible on missile defense after he's re-elected. The Russians were skeptical. They're not confident of their ability to rig two presidential elections in one year.
CBS News said a medical marijuana home delivery man in L.A. was attacked by two robbers dressed as ninja warriors. Ninja warriors are sword-wielding gladiators. It's the kind of personality you'd expect to rob the medical cocaine home delivery man in L.A.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton