Jewish World Review March 23, 2012/ 29 Adar, 5772
The News in Zingers
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Denver traded Tim Tebow to the New York Jets Wednesday. He's been in L.A. going to Oscar parties, signing with William Morris and dating actresses. He has to stay in the major TV markets because The Temptation of Tim Tebow is getting better ratings than the Super Bowl.
President Obama visited the Copper Mountain Solar Panel Facility Wednesday. This plant is in Nevada. It's more evidence that solar power is genuinely useful when you notice that every solar panel company is located in the home state of a powerful Democrat.
New Orleans Coach Sean Payton was suspended for a year Thursday for authorizing bounties for injuring opponents. The NFL wants an end to cheap shots. It's one thing to hit an opponent hard but the Saints were hiring Bill Maher to make fun of their families.
President Obama's thirteen-year-old daughter Malia went to Mexico on spring break with friends Monday. Actually she's doing an internship for a video game company. All the first-person shooter games are developed from interviews with participants in Mexico.
Mexico was hit by a seven-point earthquake which shook buildings from Acapulco to Mexico City Tuesday. Miraculously no one was hurt by the massive temblor. When the cartels started shooting government officials, they wisely spared the building inspectors.
Virgin Galactic commercial flights into space were cleared by the FAA Thursday for next year. Customers are paying two hundred grand a flight to go up and experience a few moments of weightlessness. Pound for pound it's a better value than lap band surgery.
President Obama will visit the Demilitarized Zone between North Korea and South Korea when he flies to Seoul next week. It's a photo-op. He wants to remind Americans that he is getting the troops out of Afghanistan faster than Truman got them out of Korea.
North Korea began receiving two hundred thousand tons of American food Tuesday. They made a deal to allow nuclear inspectors into their plants in exchange for American food. It proves the best way to get Iran to give up its nuclear weapons program is to open up a dozen McDonald's restaurants in Teheran, wait a week, and then threaten to close them.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton