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December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review March 2, 2012/ 8 Adar, 5772

The greatest Oscar acceptance speech NEVER given

By Barry Koltnow




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | (MCT) Quick, name the 10 most memorable Oscar acceptances speeches ever given, not including Sally Field's iconic "You like me" speech.

I suspect that your Top 10 list has fallen about 10 speeches short.

Oh, you remember a few incidents surrounding Oscar speeches, like that cute Italian guy leaping over the backs of the seats to get to the stage, or Adrien Brody planting a wet one on Halle Berry, but not the speeches themselves.

It's not your fault. These speeches simply are not memorable, even though the winners have been practicing in front of a mirror since they were 8 years old.

But there is a big difference between giving a speech in front of an appreciative audience of one, and giving a speech in front of an indifferent audience of millions.

When the big moment comes, nerves and excitement overtake all the practice, and the winners dissolve into a gooey mess. Those who manage to maintain their cool are smart enough to avoid the pitfalls that come with excessive ego or vindictiveness.

Just once, we'd like to hear an Oscar acceptance speech that goes something like this:

"I would like to thank the academy, but not all the academy.

"There are members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences I really want to thank. They are the people who voted for me. The rest of you can drop dead.

"Where were you when I really needed the support? Where were you when I was a young actor being rejected at auditions every day and working as a waiter at nights until I couldn't stand anymore? I was sleeping on my buddy's sofa, and sneaking into buffets with friends and eating off their plates. I had to go to auditions in the same clothes I wore the day before because I didn't have extra outfits, and couldn't afford dry cleaning.

"Which brings me to the world-famous fashion designers who have dressed me tonight. I would like to thank you for sending free clothes to my home, but I could really have used the free clothes when I was broke. I am making plenty of money now, and I don't need your stupid clothes, but I'm told that I have to wear the clothes or Joan Rivers will rip me to shreds before I'm off the red carpet.

"I want to thank my manager for sticking with me through the lean times, but my big-shot agent only signed me after a small film I did made a big splash at Sundance. Before that, he wouldn't even return my phone calls. Now, he would take a bullet for me. I wish he would.

"At this point in my acceptance speech, I'm supposed to thank the studio that made this movie. It's the smart way to go because you never want to insult a big studio. But this is the same studio that passed on me for 20 other roles. They told my agent I wasn't right for the part, which means I wasn't attractive enough, or tall enough or short enough or thin enough or fat enough.

"Just because conventional wisdom says that rejection is part of this business doesn't mean we have to like it. Nobody likes to be rejected, and just because there is a thin promise of fame and riches at the end the rainbow doesn't mean we have to put up with this abuse. Most actors aren't rich or famous, and never will be, and so I see no reason why we can't be treated with some dignity.

"I'm also supposed to thank the director of this movie because film is a director's medium, and it isn't smart to insult directors. Well, this is the same director who regularly seduces his leading ladies, and everybody knows it. In another profession, he would be called a predator.

"I want to thank my fellow nominees. Winners never had to thank their fellow nominees. It was understood that the winner got everything, and the losers got shown losing on national television. That's how the game was played, but now it is politically correct to not only acknowledge your fellow nominees, but say how honored you are just to be in their company.

"And, of course, I have to thank the other actors in my movie, even though some of them came to the set late every day because they were out drinking all night.

"I would thank the writers but it's customary to pretend that the words magically appear on the page, or that the director wrote the movie, so who am I to buck tradition?

"Finally, I want to thank the fans. I would be nothing without the fans. That's what I was told to say, and I suppose there is some truth to that. But these are the same fans who ignored my movie when it came out, and went instead to see a movie starring Nicolas Cage as a flaming head."

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.



Comment on Barry Koltnow's column by clicking here.


Previously:

The worst biopics ... ever
20 celebrity questions that must be answered in 2012
The Golden Globes are meaningless
The 10 Most Annoying Celebrities of 2011
The funniest comedy teams
Fake celebrities ignite real controversy
Hollywood: Stop spoiling our movies
Mob expert reveals his favorite gangster flicks
Good riddance, Harry Potter
The coolest car movies ever made
Our favorite teacher movies
Are women funny?
Our special snarky summer movie guide
The 10 most pressing show biz questions
Readers weigh in on the royal wedding
The royal wedding: I don't get it
Readers reach verdict on lawyer column
Our favorite lawyer movies ever
Readers pick their worst Oscar winners
The 10 worst best pictures ever
25 hit-man movies to die for
The 10 greatest sidekicks ever
The 10 biggest celebrity missteps of 2010
Who's cooler than Steve McQueen? (Answer: nobody)
The best revenge movies ever
The good old days, when celebrities weren't train wrecks
Making sport of celebrities
Youth will be served? Don't give me that trash!
A celebrity answer is no answer at all
Caution: geniuses at work



© 2010, The Orange County Register; Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.

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