Jewish World Review March 15, 2011 / 9 Adar II, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The White House issued a statement of support to Japan following their earthquake Friday which sounded very hastily written. The message assured the Japanese people that America's support for them was unshakable. At least it didn't say we were deeply moved.
Starbucks coffee shops are celebrating their fortieth anniversary across the country all this week. The lobbies are festooned with balloons and streamers. The real reason they're celebrating is that today's gas prices are making their coffee prices look reasonable.
Bill Clinton backed President Obama's decision to stop enforcing the ten-year-old Defense of Marriage Act. He now supports same-sex marriage, even though he opposed it during his presidency. To be fair, during his presidency, he opposed his own marriage.
Air New Zealand began flights from L.A. to New Zealand this month with completely re-fitted passenger cabins. They now offer couples adjoining seats that convert to beds. And you thought it was annoying when the couple next you talked during the entire flight.
National Geographic premiered a new TV series called Inside the Secret Service that shows how Secret Service agents detect counterfeit bills. Some of the trade secrets are fascinating. They know it's drug money when Ben Franklin's baseball cap is on backwards.
New Jersey Governor and possible GOP presidential candidate Chris Christie won a poll as the most attractive candidate in next year's field, including President Obama. He weighs over three hundred pounds. The poll was taken on the ice cream aisle at Safeway.
NFL labor talks completely collapsed between the NFL owners and the Player's Union on Friday. Neither side has much leverage. Oklahoma, Texas, USC, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Ohio State, Michigan, Notre Dame and Penn State just agreed to play on Sundays.
Los Angeles officials reviewed the city's earthquake reaction procedures Friday. It's a three-pronged response. If a huge earthquake starts shaking L.A., fire and rescue teams deploy at major intersections, cops go on tactical alert and members of the entertainment industry stand in the nearest doorway and mope that they just washed their cars yesterday.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton