Jewish World Review March 26, 2010 / 11 Nissan 5770
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
PepsiCo announced it's going to reduce the salt, sugar and fat content of its Frito-Lay, Pepsi and Tropicana products. It's a tactical retreat. Pepsi decided to cut the richness of the food before President Obama gets around to re-distributing it.
President Obama signed the Health Care Reform Act Tuesday as Democrats cheered wildly. It may not be the last word. It's just a matter of time before a Republican president is sworn into office and declares that our long national colonoscopy is over.
Joe Biden had a slip of the tongue Tuesday and said the F-word on worldwide TV while hugging President Obama after he signed the Health Care Reform Act. It tells you how contentious the bill is. Even the people in favor of it are swearing about it.
The Health Care Reform Act went into effect on Tuesday. There was an immediate ten percent health care tax imposed at tanning salons. George Hamilton filed a lawsuit right away saying it is discriminatory to tax him based on the color of his skin.
The Episcopal Church upset church conservatives Friday by selecting its second gay bishop. Times have changed. Whenever a bishop's procession enters a sanctuary they're dressed up as a policeman, a firefighter, an Indian and a construction worker.
Fox News did a poll Monday showing two-thirds of voters think the national debt is a greater threat to our future than terrorism. That means we're lucky Osama bin Laden is alive. If the Hindus are right, he could be reincarnated as a stimulus bill.
Hillary Clinton was in Mexico with Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, Homeland Security's Janet Napolitano and intelligence chief Admiral Mullen. It's related to Middle East peace talks. President Obama has a plan to make Mexico the Jewish state.
Homeland Security made plans Tuesday to scrap the eight hundred million dollar virtual fence on the Arizona-Mexico border. It simply wasn't working. Mexican criminals who run cocaine, marijuana, and illegal workers across the border aren't embarrassed to set off a loud buzzer the way the Republicans are who designed this thing.
British treasure hunters found fifteen hundred Anglo-Saxon gold pieces buried in a farmer's field in England. The coins are from the seventh century. It's a warning to any government that wants to tax the rich that tax evasion's a very old art.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton