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Jewish World Review
March 12, 2010
/ 26 Adar 5770
Not so fast, Baby
We are not so naÔve that we don't realize we may be biased when it comes to our grandbaby. Although, we do believe everyone in the world would agree she is the most beautiful, brilliant, marvelous, delightful baby ever born.
When her weight and height fell to the 10th percentile on the growth chart, but her head remained in the 70th percentile, we said, "Fabulous! Wonderful! She needs a big head for that big brain. She's going to be an Einstein or a Madame Curie!"
When the baby began scooting across the floor, tossing aside her own plush toys, which were allergy-free and crafted for sensitive-skin, in favor of the dog's toys a stuffed opossum, tattered squirrel and mangy skunk we said, "Astounding! The baby has a sixth sense for the animal world. The baby is going to be a Dr. Doolittle!"
When the baby attempted to put absolutely everything within reach into her mouth, including her own feet, the corners of rugs and daddy's shoes, we said, "Amazing! Such a sense of curiosity. The baby is going to be an explorer and discover great things!"
When the baby tooled over to the dining room table and chairs and left bite marks on the chair legs, we said, "Look at that! A craftsman! The baby has a taste for woodworking!"
When the baby would no longer hold still for a diaper change, but twist and squirm and weasel away, we said, "What agility! What form! The baby will be a gymnast one day! Or a great ballerina!"
When the baby could pull herself up by the stereo and rock out to "La Bamba" swaying back and forth, shaking her head, "singing" along, screaming "AEEEEEEEEEEEEE" at a pitch that set dogs howling, we said, "Why, of course! The baby will be a musician! A composer! A choreographer!"
When the baby was at her Wiggle Worms class and crawled over to a little boy next to her and planted a wet one on his cheek, slobbering and plastering drool all over the side of his face, we said, "Astonishing! The baby has unbelievable interpersonal communication skills!"
When the baby sat up and turned her head whenever she heard the theme music on the Weather Channel, and did not tire of the punishing monotony, we simply looked at one another.
When the baby went to her other Grandpa and Grandma's house in the country, where they have several dogs, and the dogs lined up at feeding time and the baby crawled in line behind them, the room was quiet.
When the baby had gathered a large admiring crowd of grandparents, aunts and uncles and friends of the family and shoved her little finger up her little nose, no one said a thing.
When the baby did it again and again, deviating from the routine only to stick her little finger in her little ear, the crowd was still stunned.
"Oh my," someone finally said, breaking the silence.
"Goodness," muttered another.
"The baby is going to be a, um, a, the baby is going to be a -"
"BABY!" everyone said.
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JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Catching Christmas" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.
© 2009, Lori Borgman