In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review March 17, 2009 / 21 Adar 5769

And now for the important news ....

By Argus Hamilton

Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner flew to London to discuss banking reform last week. The administration wants to end tax havens for tax fugitives. All they have to do is change the locks on the White House Cabinet room and they'll be flushed out into the hallway.

The Boston Tea Party Society called upon Americans to send teabags to Congress Saturday to protest huge spending and higher taxes. Be sure and send decaffeinated tea bags. Every time Congress stays up past midnight they vote themselves a pay raise.

Venezuela and Cuba offered air bases to Russia Friday for their bombers to use when patrolling the Western Hemisphere. It's nerve wracking. We've never had a president face a Russian military threat in this hemisphere without Marilyn Monroe's wise counsel.

Forbes listed cocaine kingpin Joaquin Guzman on its billionaires list. Sales of cocaine are always good when the economy is lousy. Its side effects include a rush of euphoria, a feeling of invincibility for fifteen minutes, and one-term presidencies.

The White House considered sending National Guard troops to the Mexican border Saturday. The Texas National Guard could be called up for possible combat duty. Maybe it wasn't a speaking engagement that brought George W. Bush to Canada this month.

Senator David Vitter ordered flight attendants to open a just-closed airplane door last week when he arrived at a gate late. He got belligerent when they refused, so they called security and identified him as he ran off. Senators who get caught in prostitution scandals should never assume that flight attendants won't recognize them.

The White House declared Friday that captured al-Qaeda fighters will no longer be referred to as enemy combatants. Two weeks ago the administration eliminated the term War on Terror and ordered the shutdown of Guantanamo. Osama bin Laden released an audiotape on Saturday ordering all his followers to enjoy a Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Bernie Madoff admitted running a Ponzi scheme Thursday. He took money from new investors to pay off old investors, skimming off the top and never investing the money. This kind of financing is only allowed for Broadway musicals and Social Security.

President Obama met with the foreign minister of China at the White House on Thursday. Everyone agreed that the visit was long overdue. Barack Obama has been president of the United States for seven weeks, it's about time he met with the owners.

NASA ordered Space Station astronauts into the escape capsule on Thursday when a junked rocket engine approached at five miles per second. They thought they were out of harm's way up there. They were well above the orbit of the Canadian geese.

Mayor Mike Bloomberg was rated the richest man in New York Thursday. His media company's made four billion dollars since the crash. Selling business news during a stock market scare is more lucrative than the soft drink concession at the Betty Ford Center.

President Obama spoke to business leaders meeting in Washington Thursday and promised to maintain free trade overseas. He won't raise protective tariffs. The idea is to give the U.S. auto industry no other option but to build a better car.

West Virginia was named the unhappiest state by the Gallup Poll Thursday, followed by Kentucky, Mississippi, Louisiana, Tennessee and Oklahoma. Can you blame them? Every day you turn on the television, it's another worshipful story about Abe Lincoln.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.

Argus' Archives

© 2009, Argus Hamilton