Jewish World Review March 25, 2008 / 18 Adar II 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The New York Yankees announced Friday that box seats in the new Yankee Stadium next year will sell for twenty-five hundred dollars per game. It's well worth it. Half the fun is ordering your beer from the former Bear Stearns executive in the paper cap.
Condi Rice apologized to Senator Barack Obama Thursday over a State Department worker who snooped into the candidate's passport file. His passport file must be six inches thick. When your middle name's Hussein, flying generates a lot of paperwork.
San Francisco officials announced Friday the Olympic torch won't be run through Chinatown. They're protesting China's brutality against Tibet. China has been pretty mean but they never made anyone run up a sixty-degree hill carrying a ten pound torch.
The White House ignored calls Friday to endorse Tibet's protests against Chinese rule. If the U.S. government backs the separatism movement by Tibet it may face the same situation in California someday. Everyone agrees, the sooner the better.
Barack Obama fell far behind Hillary Clinton in Pennsylvania and West Virginia polls. He simply refused to disown his anti-American pastor, Jeremiah Wright. After all, the man conducted his wedding, baptized his children, and blew up the U.S. Embassy in Karachi.
James Carville compared Bill Richardson to Judas Iscariot for endorsing Barack Obama instead of Hillary. Governor Richardson made the decision to endorse on his way home from his Caribbean vacation. He asked the pilot to tell him which way the wind was blowing.
Bill Clinton outraged liberals Friday when he said a race between Hillary and John McCain would showcase two loyal Americans. The former president is very big on loyalty. You cannot date Bill Clinton unless you sign the Official Secrets Act.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton