Jewish World Review March 13, 2008 / 6 Adar II 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Hillary Clinton declined comment Tuesday on New York Governor Eliot Spitzer's prostitute scandal. He was set to support her at the Democratic Party convention. Hillary couldn't have picked a more embarrassing super-delegate if she had married him.
New York Governor Eliot Spitzer was pressured to resign Monday after admitting he hired a hooker in a Washington D.C. hotel. The governor's lawyer said the incident was overblown. The guy's not paying five thousand dollars an hour for a gentle breeze.
Governor Eliot Spitzer met his prostitute last month at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington D.C. For a hundred years it's been the preferred hotel of congressmen and senators and lobbyists. In every room the Gideon Bibles are chained to the nightstand.
New York's former mayor Ed Koch said Monday he thought Governor Spitzer appeared to be working under a lot of strain lately. The governor's friends were urging him to seek professional help. They should have been more specific about which profession.
New York State Assembly Republicans vowed Tuesday to impeach Governor Eliot Spitzer if he didn't resign his office, as he negotiated with prosecutors for a way out of this. The governor is desperate to avoid going to prison. He is not that kinky.
New York's Lieutenant Governor David Paterson was poised to become governor on Tuesday with Eliot Spitzer's resignation believed imminent. He would be New York's first legally blind governor. You need to be both to get a parking spot in Manhattan.
The London Mail said a new camera has been invented that can see through clothes and reveal guns and cocaine and body parts. There's no market for it in Hollywood. Nobody wears underwear anyway and you don't need a camera to know who has got cocaine.
Admiral William Fallon stepped down Tuesday as head of Centcom, which oversees military operations in the Middle East. Everyone agreed he was a restrained and rational and independent military commander of unquestioned integrity. So he had to go.
NBC News reported Tuesday that black talk radio listeners are vowing to stay home on Election Day if Barack loses the nomination to Hillary at the convention. It's down to this. Only one of them will have a chance to be president, and it's the one who becomes John McCain's vice president and waits until the affair with the lobbyist forces his resignation.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton