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In this issue
Nov. 6, 2009
Rabbi Berel Wein: Choosing to hear
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick The mullahs' big week
Suzanne Fields A Fallen Wall for Fallen Man
Nov. 5, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet: Three scrumptious -- but simple -- butternut squash dishes
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
Tom Hamburger and Kim Geiger: Should prayers be covered?
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
Martin Peretz: Beware, Barack. Beware, Rahm. Beware, Axelrod
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater? With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The Holocaust is now on Facebook
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
Oct. 30, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: Secret to Immortality
Caroline B. Glick Silencing dissent in America
Oct. 29, 2009
Lini S. Kadaba: Do tactics avert flu or reduce humanity?
JWisdom.com We Must Revamp our Religious Vocabulary With Gavriel Aryeh Sanders ( 10 minutes)
Oct. 28, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Atheists in Bubbleland
JWisdom.com Why what we wear impacts who we are With Rabbis Mordechai Becher, Menachem Golberger and Aliza Bulow ( 10 minutes)
Oct. 27, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The United Nations Is Outraged Again, Or: Department of Mideast Static
JWisdom.com The Science of Love With Rabbi Jonathan Rietti ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 26, 2009
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Damaging disclosures with a twist
JWisdom.com Wisdom and Wonks With Rabbi Eytan Feiner ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 23, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: Are you ready for the ultimate pleasure?
JWisdom.com Watermark and oneness with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 4 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick Stop using limited powers in a way that expands our enemies' advantages over us
Oct. 22, 2009
Steven Emerson: Terror Cases Share Desire to Kill Americans
JWisdom.com No More More Family Fights --- Really? By Sarah Chana Radcliffe ( 5 minutes)
Oct. 21, 2009
Tonya Alanez: Holocaust denier sues survivor, calling Auschwitz memoir 'vicious lies'
JWisdom.com Meditating Jewishly: A Panacea for Success by Sarah Yoheved Rigler ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 20, 2009
Dennis Prager: Obama and Dalai Lama: Why Israel Worries about U.S. President
JWisdom.com Abraham was not religious By Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer ( 6 minutes)
Oct. 19, 2009
JWisdom.comWhy Good People Do Bad Things By Rabbi Eytan Feiner ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 16, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The Perfect Number
JWisdom.com Hearing Voices By Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 5 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick How Turkey was lost
Oct. 15, 2009
Jeff Jacoby: Peace vs. the 'peace process'
JWisdom.com: Former MTV producer and stand-up comedian Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff: Taming a Control Freak (A VERY fast 15 minutes)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review March 30, 2007 / 11 Nissan, 5767

Being a happy human vessel has its limits

By Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Over the years, I've sent copies of all three of my books to Oprah and I've never heard pea-turkey-squat back. Don't get me wrong. I never expected to hear anything from O, but I was "putting it out there in the universe" like she's so fond of saying.


Sadly, my universe apparently ends at O's mailroom and I suspect those books never made it upstairs to the Harpo offices, much less into the rarefied jasmine-scented air of O's personal workspace. I never even got the pre-stamped autographed picture of O advising me to "Live Your Best Life!" or some similar drivel.


So, it was with no small amount of skepticism that I watched Oprah's show on "The Secret," about how you can get anything you want by thinking, feeling and acting positively. All I had done was use correct postage.


Watching the panel of "Secret" experts, which included a former drug dealer, a recovering slut, an unemployed film producer and the guy who writes the "Chicken Soup" books, I realized that my negative energy had ensured that Oprah would never read any of my books. My dismal failure to attract O was my own fault.


Hadn't I said to the woman at the post office, "Here goes NOTHING!" or "Great. Another $5.47 down the #$%@ drain" when I mailed them to Chicago?


According to The Secret, I should've said to the woman at the post office: "This book is going to be delivered to Oprah Winfrey's hands and she is going to read it and love it and endorse it and soon I will be able to hire a personal assistant and I won't have to stand here and wait in this line WATCHING THE HAIR ON MY LEGS GET LONGER." Oops, sorry, that whole positive energy thing isn't really my strong suit.


And, because everybody listens to Oprah and has run out, purchased and is now living by "The Secret, " the postal clerk will smile lovingly at me and say, "You're right! Oprah is going to love this book and you are going to have a great life and I am too because now I no longer daydream about plunging the scissors into my husband's ears while he sleeps!"


Well, all righty then.


Bottom line: I am re-submitting my books to Oprah and happily visualizing them flying off the shelves because "like attracts like." I am also reminding myself out loud every day that "I am phenomenal" because I have put positive thoughts into the universe and have become a human vessel filled with gratitude and forgiveness.


Who is going to be really cheesed if this crap doesn't work.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.


Who's not your daddy?
Phoning for dazzlers
Proper spelling begins at home
Sick of the waiting room
Road signs
Halt your motion toward the lotion
Sudoku's got my husband's number
One short stack of smarts, please
Spa me the kids
IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation
Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
Welcome back for guilt-free manly man
A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome
Ageless icons can't escape their ages
Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy

Kid bumper stickers sure not ‘terrific’

© 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services

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