Jewish World Review March 28, 2007 / 9 Nissan, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Los Angeles International Airport held a test landing Thursday of Europe's new Airbus jumbo jet that flew in from Germany. It's the biggest airliner in the world. The double-decker cabin is able to hold five hundred people, or sixty-three Americans.
Sergio Garcia angered fans at Doral Sunday when he missed a putt and then spit in the hole. He got off with just a fine. Fortunately Roseanne Barr rushed onto the green and tackled him before he could sing the national anthem and ruin his career.
Judy Giuliani admitted Friday Rudy isn't her second husband as believed, but her third. She's his third wife. By the time the Republican candidates finish admitting all of their marriages, Hugh Hefner will be the only logical choice for vice president.
Los Angeles was the scene Sunday of a two-thousand-person march for illegal-immigrant amnesty. Two thousand people also marched against it. These civil rights marches were a lot more suspenseful before feminists made it illegal for anybody to whistle at a white woman.
Hollywood actress Mary Steenburgen said Sunday she asked the Clintons to help her get work and now she has five movie projects. Now you know why she's a Clinton backer. Barack Obama was only able to get her a couple of public service announcements.
Charlie Sheen told a radio interviewer Friday that the Twin Towers were imploded by the U.S. government. His family is proud of his progress. Every minute he's in a radio station accusing his own government of mass murder is another minute he's not gambling online.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton