Jewish World Review March 15, 2007 / 25 Adar, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The new movie 300 was a huge hit for Warner Brothers Sunday. It's about the famous ancient military stand by three hundred Spartans against Persia. A lot of moviegoers in Ohio asked for their money back after nobody bowled a strike for two hours.
The World Cricket Cup began in London Tuesday with every country in the former British Empire competing except the United States. The game was once popular here. However, one hundred seventy years ago Americans added the knockdown pitch and baseball was born.
USC apologized Sunday when four white linemen jokingly identified themselves on a web site as White Nation. The school is horrified. The players misspelled Caucasian and Aryan, which could cost USC many donations from the Pasadena zip codes.
Osama bin Laden celebrated his fiftieth birthday on Saturday, presumably with fellow terrorists hiding in west Pakistan. He should be easier to find from now on. He's having a mid-life crisis so he bought himself a red camel for his birthday.
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales faced anger in Congress this week over illegal wiretapping. He forced banks and phone companies to give up private records of American citizens without a warrant. At least Richard Nixon had the decency to use burglars.
Hillary Clinton compared herself to JFK as a presidential trailblazer Saturday in New Hampshire. This is the first evidence of a right-wing conspiracy to stop her. Dan Quayle called her up and persuaded her to compare herself to Jack Kennedy.
Germany defied an EU bureaucrat Sunday who demanded that Germany put a speed limit on the autobahn. The Germans said they believe in free driving for free citizens. It's no wonder that Californians have twice elected Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton