Jewish World Review March 7, 2007 / 17 Adar, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Los Angeles Angels player Gary Matthews last week was linked to human growth hormone purchases. He has refused comment and hired Robert Shapiro. It's a tradition in Los Angeles to hire O.J. Simpson's defense attorney whenever you have nothing to hide.
San Francisco researchers found Monday that men over sixty-five years of age who are moderate drinkers are healthier than men who don't drink. Liquor stores aren't happy. They're not equipped to deal with a five dollar co-pay for Wild Turkey.
Rudy Giuliani's son cited family strife as the reason he won't campaign for his dad. The former mayor left his second wife for today's wife and his first wife was his cousin. Until now, no one thought it was possible for a Republican to be more fun than the Clintons.
Hillary Clinton was ridiculed by pundits for putting on a Southern accent in Alabama Sunday. It was thick. She was a big hit at the breakfast in Montgomery when she grabbed a fistful of waffles and vowed that she will never be hungry again.
Senator Hillary Clinton vowed Sunday she will introduce a bill in the Senate to ensure that every vote is counted and every voter given a receipt. This should be a lot of fun. The last time she introduced a bill her parents warned her not to marry him.
John Edwards vowed to raise taxes for universal health care Monday and tried to shame Republicans for passing tax breaks for the rich. He's a wealthy trial lawyer. Democrats think it's okay to be rich as long as you just feel awful about it.
Barack Obama frankly admitted Sunday that his ancestors on his mother's side owned slaves in America. They say past is prologue. If he's elected, that would make two consecutive presidents with a history of supporting guest worker programs.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2007, Argus Hamilton