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Jewish World Review March 19, 2007 / 29 Adar, 5767
NCAA Renames March Madness “March Bipolar Disorder”
By Andy Borowitz
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Under pressure from National Institute of Mental Health
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) stunned the sports world today
by announcing that its annual college basketball tournament, known to its fans as
March Madness, will henceforth be known as March Bipolar Disorder.
The name-change, which both surprised and outraged devotees of the annual ritual,
came after the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) demanded that the NCAA
drop the "Madness" tag.
While fans across the country argued that "March Bipolar Disorder" did not have the
same ring to it, a spokesperson for the NIMH said today that the new name was "more
clinically accurate."
"Each year, the tournament produces extreme mood swings in both its players and its
fans," said spokesperson Carol Foyler. "In our view, those symptoms are consistent
with bipolar disorder."
Even as tournament purists complained that the NCAA had caved in to the medical
community, sports marketing expert Colby Teague said that the name-change could open
the door to new sponsorship opportunities from the manufacturers of bipolar disorder
medications, such as Eli Lilly.
"I could see a scenario where next year it's called the Zyprexa™ March Bipolar
Disorder," he said.
Among bipolar college basketball fans like Devon Trailor of Chapel Hill, NC,
reaction to the controversial name-change was mixed: "I was very excited about the
new name yesterday, but today I'm not."