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Nov, 21, 2008

Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: Money matters?

Caroline B. Glick: Civilization walks the plank

Nov, 20, 2008

Rabbi Avi Shafran: Bronfman's blindness

The Kosher Gourmet By Linda Gassenheimer: Portobellos add a hearty flavor to pasta with pesto

Nov, 19, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Spread the wealth? Jewish tradition and income equality

Elliot B. Gertel: 'Mad Men': Tackling prejudices or reinforcing them?

Nov, 18, 2008

Dr. Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn: The End of the Age of Reason

Jonathan Tobin: Does Barack + Bibi = Disaster?

Nov, 17, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The End of the Age of Reason

Diana West: Gulling Americans into making terror legit?

Nov, 14, 2008

Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: The Power of Spiritual Inertia

Caroline B. Glick: The perils ahead

Nov, 13, 2008

Stratfor Intelligence Briefing: How Bush and Obama together could change the Middle East dynamic

The Kosher Gourmet by JeanMarie Brownson: Sweet and savory, crispy and meltingly tender bestilla

Nov, 12, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Tyrannical Co-Workers

Michael Doyle: High Court to consider today donated monuments that may have religious messages in public parks

Nov, 11, 2008

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Will Obama stop government officials considering institutionalizing financial jihad?

Jonathan Tobin: They Will Decide Their Own Fate

Nov, 10, 2008

Rabbi Avi Shafran: $8 billion, modern-day Tower of Babel being built?

Barry Rubin: A letter to the president-elect from a Middle East realist

Nov, 7, 2008

Rabbi Francis Nataf: Of Children and Immortality

Caroline B. Glick: Livni's Obama strategy

Nov, 6, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: How I tricked a classroom of apathetic students into grasping the fallacy of moral relativism

The Kosher Gourmet By Gina Kim: Tips for making the perfect soup --- includes recipes

Nov, 5, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist By Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Destitute Debtors

Bruce Weinstein: 'Religulos': Bad title,even worse movie

Nov, 4, 2008

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Treasury Dept. submits to Shariah law

Frida Ghitis: A surprise for Obama in the Middle East

Nov, 3, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: Who says Jews are Smart?

Jonathan Tobin: Was He Wrong About Everything?

Oct. 31, 2008

Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: Our Immutable Noble Essence

Caroline B. Glick: Running against Bush

Oct. 30, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: The End of the Special Relationship?

Steve Lipman: 'Kid Kosher' Gets A Title Shot

Oct. 29, 2008

Binyamin L. Jolkovsky: GET US THE TAPE THE L.A. TIMES REFUSES TO RELEASE, AND WE'LL GIVE YOU CASH!

Dr. Ari Korenblit: Making The Write Choice for President

Oct. 28, 2008

Mona Charen: Denial runs through American Jewry

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Sell-off to capitalism or sell-out to Islam?

Oct. 27, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Are tax deductions for charitable donations moral?

Jonathan Mark: The Mystery Of The Arab-American Vote

Oct. 24, 2008

'Why aren't all religious people vegetarians?': Response by Miriam Kosman

Caroline B. Glick: Testing Obama's mettle

Oct. 23, 2008

Daniel Pipes: Obama Would Fail Security Clearance

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: A fast chicken dish with an Asian accent

Oct. 20, 2008

Gary Rosenblatt: Still One Torah

Jonathan Tobin: Government 'Gifts' Are Not Free

Oct. 17, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: Sukkos and the Great Meltdown

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of law

Oct. 16, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Copying DVDs: RIP OR RIPOFF?

Cal Thomas: Blaming the Jews (again)

March 22, 2007

J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review March 24, 2006 / 24 Adar, 5766

I'll Always Have Jersey: Discovering my need for speed

By Gene Weingarten


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Some weeks ago I confessed in a column that I'd been popped by a New Jersey state trooper for going 82 mph on an interstate. This resulted in many earnest e-mails from concerned citizens chastising me for Setting a Bad Example for the Nation's Youth. But I also got one letter, from Dan Carney of Herndon, calling me a pantywaist.


Eighty-two is nothing, Dan said, and invited me to accompany him as he test-drove a 2006 Corvette. Dan is a writer for automotive magazines.


Chevrolet has come out with a new six-speed Corvette, a vast improvement over its previous five-speed model in the sense that it has a whole extra gear no one will ever use. Dan explained that, to an automotive writer, this is a highly significant engineering development, because it creates an important pretext to get a hot demo car as a loaner.


My own car is a 15-year-old Mazda 323 with an engine the size of a KitchenAid countertop appliance. This is a car that, when manipulated properly by an experienced driver such as myself, can accelerate from zero to 60 in the time it takes a potato to rot. But Dan's challenge appealed to me, for two reasons:


(1) A guy does not like to be called a pantywaist. A guy likes to think of himself as a studly, fearless individual who isn't afraid of anything, not even fear itself. Not even the fear of fear itself.


(2) I figured, he may be an automotive writer, but he's still a citizen with a driver's license to protect. He's still going to have to observe the laws of the road, right?


So I immediately said yes, and Dan said swell, and he told me where to meet him: at a racetrack.


It turns out Dan is not just a writer, but a race car driver. He owns a Formula Ford car, which is one of those triangular things that ride so low to the ground they look like flatirons skidding on ice. You know those cars. You often see pictures of them in the newspaper, upside down, airborne, crashing into grandstands.


Anyway, Dan arrived in his blue Corvette loaner, and I have to say, I was immediately put at ease. Not only is Dan a laconic, sauntering, unthreatening, cowboy-smiley sort of guy, but the first thing I noticed, to my amusement, is that his bad-boy Corvette had an automatic transmission. Dan listened laconically as I derided this pathetic sissy of a car with its weenie little slushbox. Then he laconically instructed me to (1) sign a paper holding the racetrack harmless if I expired, and (2) put on my seat belt and shoulder harness, and shut up.


In technical automotive-writer terms, this puppy had about 400 horses, which is roughly 320 horses more than my Mazda. They were loud, grumbling horses. I did a little thought experiment to imagine what it's like riding in a 400-horsepower automobile: I pictured a small stagecoach being pulled by 400 thundering appaloosas, and inside the coach is a school-marm, in a big, flouncy schoolmarm dress with petticoats, which are soaked.


In as casual and manly a fashion as possible, I asked Dan how fast we would be going, and he said he doubted we would exceed 110 mph. This didn't seem all that fast until I saw the track, which looked to be the size of a suburban driveway.


It turns out that the Jefferson Circuit at Summit Point raceway in West Virginia is not a track like Indy, but rather something with hairpin turns and straightaways no longer than about 800 feet, which seems even shorter when your eyeballs are being pressed back into your brain. A 'Vette with the pedal to the metal will do zero to 60 in 4 1/2 seconds, and we were done with the straightaway in six seconds flat. At which point Dan applied the brakes at 110 mph at what seemed to be waaaay past the last possible moment, but the tires bit, and we screamed into the turn, the car hugging the road like Huggy Bear. I know that is a terrible analogy, but I was incapable of thinking coherently at the time, and that is what I wrote in my notebook.


At least, I think that is what I wrote. I took copious notes during the 10 minutes we were on the track, but can read almost none of them due to G-force-induced horizontal distortion and lateral hand tremor. When we were done, we had to take a "cool-down" lap because   —   I swear   —   the tires were smoldering.


Then Dan handed me the wheel. I buckled in, did my best to look cowboy-laconic, hit the accelerator, and   —   I don't want to brag, here   —   I handled that 'Vette like a senior citizen in a fedora negotiating the streets of Lantana, Fla., en route to an Early Bird Special.


It's okay. I'll always have my traffic ticket. Did I mention I was doing 82?

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


Gene Weingarten writes the Below the Beltway humor column for The Washington Post. To comment, please click here.


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