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February 10, 2012
Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
February 9, 2012
Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students
Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design
February 6, 2012
Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It
Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream
January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
March 15, 2006
/ 15 Adar, 5766
You're so fired! If your own company won't pay you, forget about The Apprentice
By
Joel Stein
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
I don't have much business acumen. Although the corporation my accountant got me to set up, Steinacopia Inc., has brought in six figures over the last year and a half, I have yet to figure out how to get any of that money out of the Steinacopia bank account. It is perhaps the most poorly run business not yet purchased by Time Warner.
So you'd think I wouldn't have applied for the sixth season of NBC's "The Apprentice." That's because you don't realize just how much I like people to see me on television.
Because this is the first "Apprentice" filmed in Los Angeles, it's the first one I have had a shot at. Instead of being required to rent out real estate or create ads for a private jet company, like the previous Manhattan apprentices did, I figured I'd just be walking up to people and asking them to give me 10% of their salaries.
At 10 on Friday morning, I went to the Globe Theater at Universal Studios Hollywood, where I joined more than 700 other capitalists waiting to be interviewed by Donald Trump — 25 of whom were so excited they had been there since 5:30 a.m. I instantly realized I should have worn a suit. And brought a resume. And gone to business school.
I was put at a table with eight other applicants, only two of whom had been Miss Beverly Hills. When Trump sat down to interview us, he asked us to give our names and say something about ourselves. I told him that I was "Joel Stein, a street-walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm."
Nobody reacted to this. The business world, I was learning, was one tough place. Either that or it's even more solipsistic than the media industry.
The guy to my right, Ryan Smith, told Trump he had made $60 million during the Internet boom and lost it all, keeping only the Rolex on his wrist as a reminder of his past success. It was perhaps the closest Trump had ever come to crying.
Then the Donald asked us to discuss whether a business should have a rule against dating in the workplace.
Heidi Androl, a sales manager for a company that sells inlet barrier filtration systems for helicopters and is a costar of the film "Playboy Wet & Wild: Slippery When Wet," said she believes that dating co-workers is wrong.
"If you meet some guy you're really attracted to, can you say you wouldn't do anything?" Trump asked. "Do you have that much self-control?"
Androl assured him that she did.
"Even if his name was Mr. Trump?" I asked.
"I've heard of stranger things happening," Trump added.
Androl stood her anti-workplace-romance ground. I do not imagine she got a callback.
As the discussion wore on, I found myself sweating through my shirt from the pressure. Could I really navigate a business world in which I would be in important boardroom meetings, discussing dating, while sitting between two former Miss Beverly Hills?
When Trump asked us to name someone at the table we'd vote off, and someone we'd nominate as team leader, I was surprised to get no votes either way. I was born, it seems, to be middle management. This may be, it seems, how my own corporation thinks of me as well, despite the fact that I'm my only employee.
When our 10-minute session ended, I asked Trump how I did. He said he was impressed with my persuasive arguments for my pro-dating stance — but that I should have worn a suit and brought a resume.
Then the famously germ-phobic tycoon, known for bowing instead of shaking hands, offered me his hand. When I asked him why, he raised an eyebrow, looked me up and down and shrugged: "What am I going to catch from you?"
That's when I knew I had no chance.
Afterward, Shelley Mahoney, a real estate investor I picked to vote off, told me that I stood out as a candidate. "The rest of us talked like executives," she said. I think this was supposed to be a compliment.
And Natasha Pavlovich — former Miss Beverly Hills; Miss Yugoslavia; Miss Passion Venus Legs, Los Angeles; Jennifer Garner's mom on "Alias"; an investor in Virgin Galactic, the space tourism company; and a participant in the founding of the Serbian city Slobomir — said I was in the top 60% of our table. Perfect for middle management.
Still, when I left the room, I decided I'd be a better candidate for "The Apprentice" than I had imagined. Because unlike being a spouse on the "The Bachelor" or surviving on an island on "Survivor," being an entrepreneur — as Trump himself proves — requires the same kind of gaping narcissism that makes people want to be on camera.
I don't think "The Apprentice" is ever going to leave Los Angeles.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Joel Stein is a Los Angeles Times columnist. Comment by clicking here.
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