Jewish World Review March 27, 2006 / 27 Adar, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Phoenix was the site of a massive march by illegal aliens
who walked off the job Friday to protest immigration reform.
President Bush is dismayed. He hadn't figured on Americans getting
a chance to take the jobs illegal aliens refuse to do.
Los Angeles had a huge street rally on Saturday where
thousands of Hispanics waved Mexican flags. It was very healing.
The Black Panthers and the Ku Klux Klan signed a joint statement
vowing to work together to take back the country they love.
Jesse Jackson demanded the postponement of the elections in
New Orleans next month because the black people haven't come home
yet. The town is Republican without them. White people now flock
to Preservation Hall to watch Debbie Boone scat.
The Red Cross agreed to investigate claims that volunteers
stole huge amounts of cash from Hurricane Katrina donations.
Charity officials said they did the best they could. If they had
done any better we'd be buying their candelabras at auction.
Gong Show creator Chuck Barris wrote a book about his dream
quiz show. In it the contestant either wins one hundred million
dollars or gets executed. It just shows that everyone watches the
trial of Saddam Hussein and sees something different.
Barry Bonds sued the authors of Game of Shadows under a
California statute called the unfair competition law. The book
details his use of steroids. Barry Bonds shouldn't be suing under
the unfair competition law, he should be prosecuted under it.
South Park's season premiere on Wednesday skewered Isaac
Hayes for leaving the show. The producers made his character Chef
a pedophile and had him impaled on a tree and eaten by wolves. It
just shows that white people can't tell the difference between
Isaac Hayes and Michael Jackson.
Charlie Sheen said Monday he believes the September 11th
attacks were staged by the government. He called the Twin Towers
collapse a controlled implosion. It was the fastest possible way
for him to find out if mushrooms violate his probation.
Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid said he'll stop any
immigration bill that doesn't lead to citizenship for illegal
aliens. The senator loves farm workers. He's from Nevada and every
time he sees three pieces of produce he thinks he's hit the jackpot.
Hillary Clinton held a seminar on Equity Pay for Women at
Stony Brook University on Thursday. This is a family commitment.
Bill Clinton promised better pay for women in the workplace, and
if you count harassment settlements he really delivered.
China announced Friday that Chinese president Hu Jintao will pay an official state visit in four weeks. He's coming to the United States for a summit. Every time he meets with the board of directors at Wal-Mart the world hangs in the balance.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2006, Argus Hamilton