Jewish World Review March 24, 2006 / 24 Adar, 5766

And now for the important news ....

By Argus Hamilton

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The Dallas Cowboys announced Wednesday that the sale of Terrell Owens jerseys set a sales record in two days. The hottest items in football are the Terrell Owens signature jackets. Every night Lance Burton escapes from one on the Las Vegas stage.

General Motors offered employee buyouts Wednesday in the wake of plummeting auto sales. They have marketing problems out west. If you drive an American-built car in California, everybody thinks you are a cop and they slow down in front of you.

Cuba's baseball team returned Tuesday from the World Baseball Classic in San Diego. They all came home. Watching the killer whale show at Sea World reminded would-be defectors why they should wait for Castro to die before they go to Florida.

Entertainment Weekly reported Tuesday that Osama bin Laden's niece Wafah bin Laden has a reality show about her life as a singer in New York. Who's her manager? At least Margaret Truman had the good sense never to schedule any recitals in Japan.

Condi Rice flew to the Bahamas Wednesday where she was besieged by questions about her interest in the NFL Commissioner's job. She could use her experience to help bring a team to Los Angeles. She gets along great with the president of Mexico.

Senator Harry Reid demanded Wednesday that any immigration bill include a path to citizenship for illegal aliens. It's vital to have a path to citizenship for illegal aliens. Life will be unlivable in California if they close Interstate Five.

Hillary Clinton said Tuesday a law deporting illegal aliens would be turning against Jesus Christ. It sounded odd. A Democrat hasn't mentioned the name of Jesus Christ since the last time Jimmy Carter missed the nail and struck his thumb.

Albuquerque cops pulled over boxer Danny Romero for drunk driving Monday. He said he was partying with New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson at the governor's mansion. The governor-made-me- do-it is a defense we haven't heard since Paula Jones.