Jewish World Review March 23, 2006 / 23 Adar, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Fidel Castro met Cuba's baseball team when they arrived home
from San Diego Tuesday. None of them defected. They were greeted
by their wives and children on the tarmac, still blinking in the
sunlight after being locked up for three weeks.
Florida teacher Debbie LeFave was freed Tuesday after she
told the court she had sex with a teenager because she's bi-polar.
When she left the court she was swarmed by reporters. The National
Enquirer wants to know her Sweet Sixteen picks.
The New York Daily News said Monday Bill Clinton just gave
Hillary veto power over all his activities in an effort to support
her career. Fans of drama know he's just like the gun on the table
in the first act. It's only a matter of time before he goes off.
The Screen Actors Guild threatened to strike for more rerun
money from prime-time dramas. The acting business is difficult.
It's sometimes hard to figure out whether you're on strike or
whether you've been thrown out of work by reality shows.
Condi Rice was mentioned Tuesday for the NFL Commissioner's
job. It involves a lot of union negotiations. If she could do for
labor peace what she's done for Middle East peace both the owners
and players will be afraid to start their own cars.
Sen. John McCain helped to raise three million dollars at a
closed-door Republican banquet in Beverly Hills on Monday. It's
about principle. John McCain won't rest until he's gotten the
money out of politics, and on Monday he got three million out.
Dick Cheney flew to Illinois Tuesday to talk to the airmen
stationed at Scott Air Force Base. This base is famous for its
gunnery school. The vice president was there to learn how to shoot
a bird out of the sky without hitting your lawyer.
North Korea threatened to attack the United States on Tuesday. They want the same deal the president just gave India. However, until North Korea can learn to handle our customer service calls, we're not going to trust them with nuclear weapons.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton