Jewish World Review March 21, 2006 / 21 Adar, 5766

And now for the important news ....

By Argus Hamilton

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | President Vicente Fox announced a gigantic oil strike in Mexico Friday. They found six billion barrels. Now we need a double yellow line through the Arizona desert so the illegal aliens heading north don't crash into U.S. troops heading south.

Senator Dick Durbin said Sunday that Democrats may impeach President Bush if they win Congress. How bad are his polls? The last president needed to avoid the rope lines because of the girls, and this one needs to avoid them because of the rope.

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid urged Senate Democrats to spend their week-long recess in town meetings. It's a start. Anybody who has to take off work for ten days after St. Patrick's Day should have to go to ninety meetings in ninety days.

Robert Novak said Saturday Democrats are urging Al Gore to run for president, thinking he can raise more money than the Clintons. It's true. Everybody in the country will give him one hundred dollars if he will stop whining about the climate.

John Ashcroft opened a lobbying firm in Washington D.C. this week. He promised he can help companies avoid the fate of Enron and WorldCom and Arthur Andersen. For a hefty fee he will counsel CEO's until they know the Ten Commandments by heart.