Jewish World Review March 15, 2006 / 15 Adar, 5766

And now for the important news ....

By Argus Hamilton

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The Sopranos returned to HBO Sunday with a new season of shows about Mafia boss Tony Soprano. They lost one character and introduced a new one. Tony's Cadillac Escalade disappeared like Hoffa after Porsche offered the producers more money for three mentions per episode.

The Weather Channel reported that tornadoes hit Missouri and Kansas Sunday. Thank goodness most people had stocked their cellars with a six-month supply of canned tuna in preparation for bird flu. That should get them by until FEMA arrives.

John Kerry refused to take a stand Monday on a proposed censure of President Bush over warrantless wiretapping. He doesn't care. Democrats with wives who can afford detectives are fools if they don't assume they're being wiretapped anyway.

Al Gore gave a speech in Palm Beach on Monday to a gathering of four hundred Democratic supporters. He blamed the hurricane season on Republican global warming policies and claimed that hotter water makes for stronger hurricanes. If that's true the world would have come to an end halfway through the Monica Lewinsky scandal.