Jewish World Review March 14, 2006 / 14 Adar, 5766

And now for the important news ....

By Argus Hamilton

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | March Madness began Sunday with the announcement of the brackets of the NCAA tournament. It's an annual rite for families to gather around the television to follow the action together. Children need to learn there is more to life than poker.

Barry Bonds was named as a steroid user by his San Francisco mistress, according to two San Francisco Chronicle writers in their new book, Game of Shadows. The slugger is rehabbing in Arizona. He's suffering from a knee injury he might have avoided if his wife didn't read the Chronicle every day.

Big Love starring Bill Paxton premiered on HBO Sunday about a renegade Mormon businessman who lives with his three wives in one house. It's not a breach of faith. Hollywood promised to go straight following the Academy Awards, not moderate.

The Weather Channel reports that a winter storm Saturday dropped five inches of snow in Las Vegas. It brought subfreezing temperatures. Hookers were charging five hundred extra just to cuddle afterwards, two hundred more with a dirty blanket.

The Washington D.C. City Council approved financing for a new ballpark for the Washington Nationals Thursday. This situation is a lobbyist's dream. Congressmen are giving up military bases in their districts for seats along the third base line.

The Chicago Tribune said Sunday the secret identities of CIA agents and their front companies can be obtained for a fee over the Internet. This can only mean one thing. Bob Novak got tired of giving this stuff away for free in the newspapers.

Democrats promised Saturday to bring racial diversity to the early presidential primary process. Democrats go nuts in white states. It took a gay cowboy movie to get Americans to forget Howard Dean's wagonmaster impression in Iowa five years ago.

The Army Recruiting Command warned Sunday that most Americans of military age are too overweight, too uneducated, too tattooed or are criminals. Other employers have an unfair advantage with this generation. They are allowed to recruit in India.