Jewish World Review March 14, 2006 / 14 Adar, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
March Madness began Sunday with the announcement of the
brackets of the NCAA tournament. It's an annual rite for families
to gather around the television to follow the action together.
Children need to learn there is more to life than poker.
Barry Bonds was named as a steroid user by his San Francisco
mistress, according to two San Francisco Chronicle writers in
their new book, Game of Shadows. The slugger is rehabbing in
Arizona. He's suffering from a knee injury he might have avoided
if his wife didn't read the Chronicle every day.
Big Love starring Bill Paxton premiered on HBO Sunday about
a renegade Mormon businessman who lives with his three wives in
one house. It's not a breach of faith. Hollywood promised to go
straight following the Academy Awards, not moderate.
The Weather Channel reports that a winter storm Saturday
dropped five inches of snow in Las Vegas. It brought subfreezing
temperatures. Hookers were charging five hundred extra just to
cuddle afterwards, two hundred more with a dirty blanket.
The Washington D.C. City Council approved financing for a
new ballpark for the Washington Nationals Thursday. This situation
is a lobbyist's dream. Congressmen are giving up military bases in
their districts for seats along the third base line.
The Chicago Tribune said Sunday the secret identities of CIA
agents and their front companies can be obtained for a fee over
the Internet. This can only mean one thing. Bob Novak got tired of
giving this stuff away for free in the newspapers.
Democrats promised Saturday to bring racial diversity to the
early presidential primary process. Democrats go nuts in white
states. It took a gay cowboy movie to get Americans to forget
Howard Dean's wagonmaster impression in Iowa five years ago.
The Army Recruiting Command warned Sunday that most Americans of military age are too overweight, too uneducated, too tattooed or are criminals. Other employers have an unfair advantage with this generation. They are allowed to recruit in India.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton