Jewish World Review March 13, 2006 / 13 Adar, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
John Gotti Jr. is free after a mistrial was declared for a
second time in New York Friday. The jury felt sorry for him after
they heard he left the Mafia six years ago and never killed
anybody in his life. He is the black sheep of the family.
The Weather Channel reported a freak winter storm struck
Southern California Friday night. Snow fell in Los Angeles for the
first time since the Seventies. Teenagers who think Red Bull gets
you up and going got the education of their lives.
The Red Bull energy drink company bought a Major League
Soccer team Friday. The MetroStars were renamed Red Bull New York.
It won't be long before Dubai Ports World gives George
Steinbrenner a billion dollars to re-name the Yankees the
The Southern Republican Leadership Conference met in Memphis
at the Peabody Hotel. This group means business. They blindfolded
each presidential candidate and gave him a stick, then spun him
around three times to see who could beat Hillary.
President Bush praised the United Arab Emirates on Friday as
a good customer of American goods. They just bought forty-two
jumbo passenger jets from Boeing. That one-hundred-story hotel in
Dubai had better not say anything nice about Israel.
NASA scientists said Thursday they believe they have spotted
signs of water on Saturn's moon. It's one of the requirements of
life on other planets. Whenever it is budget time on Capitol Hill,
NASA tries to give taxpayers some hope of escape.
The American Trucking Association warned Friday there's a
shortage of truck drivers in America. The job requires skill and
stamina. Trucking schools teach you how to drive the big rigs, how
to communicate by CB radio, and how to comply with environmental
rules and still keep the refugees in the back from suffocating.
The Academy Awards telecast Sunday drew ten million fewer
viewers than last year. The industry is vowing to be more
mainstream. The early favorite for next year's Oscar is a movie
about a nuclear family called Please Don't Eat the Plutonium.
Condoleezza Rice meets with Bolivia's new president Evo
Morales Saturday. The Bolivian is a coca grower who campaigned on
a promise to legalize its export. This is just another chance for
baby boomers to resent how easy kids have it today.
Retired Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan stunned Washington Monday by signing an eight million dollar deal to pen his autobiography for Penguin Books. There is already talk of a movie deal for the book. It's called Memoirs of a Geezer.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton