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Jewish World Review
March 8, 2006
/ 8 Adar, 5766
First Dick Cheney jokes arrive in Iraq
By
Andy Borowitz
Pentagon hopes merriment will unite Sunnis, Shiites
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Weeks after Vice President Dick Cheney's hunting accident became the staple of television comedians' monologues, the Pentagon today dispatched the first shipment of Dick Cheney hunting jokes to Iraq.
With sectarian violence in Iraq continuing to rise, the Pentagon hopes that laughter over the Vice President's hunting mishap will serve to unite Sunnis and Shiites and bring the country back from the brink of civil war.
"For weeks, Americans of every stripe have laughed about Dick Cheney shooting his friend in the face," Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said at a Pentagon briefing today. "We are hopeful that by laughing at Dick Cheney together, both Sunnis and Shiites will find common ground."
The Cheney jokes were culled from late-night television, translated into Arabic, and then printed on flyers which were airdropped over the war-torn nation in the early hours of the morning, Secretary Rumsfeld said.
He added that if the Dick Cheney jokes take root in Iraq, he could envision a scenario in which Dick Cheney jokes flourish across the entire Middle East.
But so far the response to the Cheney jokes from Iraqis has been tepid at best, with few Sunnis or Shiites finding humor in the Vice President's predicament.
"If a man shoots his friend in his face, he is a menace and must be punished," said Hisham Dalal, 39, a Baghdad office worker. "His friend should be permitted to shoot him in the face."
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JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, the first-ever recipient of the National Press Club's Award for Humor, is a former president of the Harvard Lampoon,and a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville.
© 2006, Andy Borowitz
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