In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review March 21, 2005 / 10 Adar II, 5765

Current Events 101 Quiz

By Dave Weinbaum

Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Instructions: This is an open book open net, cheat as often as you like quiz. In fact it's better done in small groups. It'll be more fun and who knows, you might get lucky!

Grading Scale: 0-1 -Wrong-Outstanding-Volunteer worker for local dogcatcher. 2-3- Wrong-Excellent-Time to run for Congress. 4-5-Wrong-Good-Senatorial shoe-in. 6-7-Wrong- Fair-Cabinet level must, or Supreme Court Appointee 8 & Above-Wrong-Is it Madam or Mr. President?

(Answers Below)

1. Ex-President Clinton recently spent a night sleeping on the floor of a plane because…

A. Hillary kicked him out of bed…again.

B. He was looking for his legacy.

C. He decided to let 80-year-old Ex-President Bush have the bed in desperate attempt to get him to endorse Hillary for President in 2008.

D. Bush Senior kicked him out of bed because of cold feet, as in his feeble attempts to nail Bin Ladin.

E. All of above.

2. Rumor has it that Michael Moore's new gig will be…

A. Taste tester at IHOP.

B. Kirstie Alley's love interest in her new series "Fat Actress".

C. Bathing suit model for Speedo.

D. UN envoy to monitor Oil-For-Food Program.

E. Before model for Weight Watchers.

3. A Supreme Court Judge's job consists of…

A. A lifetime of cheap Mexican lunches in less than Supreme cafeteria.

B. Showing the American people that all other branches of government are unnecessary.

C. Knowing you can show up naked under your robes and you won't be fired.

D. More power than the Pope and a lifetime to exercise it.

E. None of Above

F. All of above.

4. President Bush will ____________________when he retires in 2008.

A. Collect on his Social Security…until it runs out in the fall of 2009.

B. Become a drug councilor for Major League Baseball.

C. Become a drug supplier for Major League Baseball.

D. Teach speech therapy at the Einstein Institute of Nuckleeur Technology.

E. Lobbyist for MENSA.

5. Osama's latest inter-cave memo says…

A. I'm more frustrated than Kofi Annan without a payoff.

B. I wonder if the Koran has an Early Virgin Plan.

C. How come Domino's won't deliver here?

D. Has anyone found the remote?

E. My favorite Koran story is Burning Bush.

6. Ward Churchill's next job will be…

A. Don Imus body double.

B. Producer-The O'Reilly Factor.

C. Opening act for Jackie Mason.

D. President of Harvard.

E. Coeditor Jewish World Review.

7. The newest addition to Webster's Dictionary is…

A. Wedgie

B. Nuckleeur

C. Demopurple

D. Bushspeak

E. Chiracked

8. Michael Jackson is on trial for…

A. Bartender without a license.

B. Charges relating to pedophilia.

C. Have you heard his latest album?

D. Can't pay his plastic surgeons.

E. All of the above.

Donate to JWR

9. The Baseball/Steroid Congressional Hearings will result in…

A. Major League's lowest home run total since 1907.

B. Bobble head dolls too weak to bobble.

C. A combined lawsuit by Bonds, McGwire, and Sosa to stop the * from stalking their names.

D. Jose Canseco? Witness Protection Program

E. All of the Above.

10. Martha Stewart went to jail because…

A. Quiche Collapse!

B. She heard prison facials were much cheaper than on the outside.

C. Bubbarina promised as roommate.

D. She lied to the FBI…who lied to her.

E. She lied about sex.

Had enough? How'd you do? If you didn't do well, don't worry. I got four wrong and I made up the test! I was more frustrated than a tailor trying to fit John Kerry for command!

Oh well, Senator Weinbaum doesn't sound all THAT bad!

Answers: 1. C 2. B. 3. F. 4. E. 5. E. 6. A. 7. A. 8. B. 9. C. 10. D

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.

03/14/05: From A to Dubya: A satirist's snapshot of the world through the alphabet
03/04/05: Osama's employment crisis
02/25/05: You may be part of the right wing conspiracy if ...
02/07/05: Giving democracy the finger

© 2005, Dave Weinbaum