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February 10, 2012
Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
February 9, 2012
Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students
Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design
February 6, 2012
Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It
Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream
January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
March 21, 2005
/ 10 Adar II, 5765
Counting curses and blunt-force injuries
By
Joel Stein
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
As befits these times, the strangest job in Hollywood now involves sitting in the back of a movie theater with a light-up pen and a clipboard, categorizing every curse, sexual act and moment of violence. It's like being the anti-Pee-wee Herman.
Every Friday afternoon, employees of PSV Ratings go to the first showings at the Mann and AMC theaters on the Third Street Promenade and record every moment that potentially could be worrisome for a parent. After the data capturer finishes, he goes to the lobby, cleans up his notes and hands them to a data validator, who catches the second showing of "The Pacifier." Duck bites, by the way, go under the category of "Injury & Abuse: Physical Injuries: Screaming in Pain." Though I have to wonder if that last part was just describing the audience reaction to Vin Diesel.
David Kinney, the president and chief executive of PSV Ratings, is not a religious man, isn't extremely conservative and doesn't have kids. He just thought this would make a good business. He owned a small DVD review magazine and got the idea for an objective, quantifiable ratings system while watching, for reasons I could not get out of him, the 1996 congressional hearings on TV ratings.
Kinney says he and his investors have spent $7 million since 1998 collecting data on movies and video games. Now they hope to sell this information to parents, either directly or through outlets such as Amazon.com and Yahoo.
Based on the data he gathers and rules created by a board of children's educators and psychologists, PSV assigns each movie a green, yellow or red light for profanity, sex and violence. It also records data on smoking, product placement and political messages. "We hope to one day sell this information to China, and they care about that," Kinney said.
Each moment of sexual activity is time-stamped to the second. "Maybe that's the only part you're interested in, so you can fast-forward to that part of the movie," Kinney said. It is the first time I considered renting "Catwoman."
Though the 63 full-time employees in Brentwood have been punching in hundreds of codes for illicit behavior for years, the data have only been made available — at psvratings.com for $20 a year — for the last few weeks. Kinney hopes parents will use it to make more personal, nuanced decisions than they can by blindly trusting the MPAA ratings. Some parents, for instance, might not like the f-word, but they might be fine with man-on-anthropomorphic-creature-blunt-force-injury-causing-unconsciousness.
Since the release of a DVD means a brand new, even more detailed, second-level review, I sat down on Tuesday with data capturer and aspiring screenwriter Aaron Lyles to find out just what was objectionable about "The Incredibles." Besides the fact that it revived the career of Craig T. Nelson.
It didn't take long. Two minutes and 15 seconds in — and that's including titles — we witnessed acts of "evading authority," "threat of gunshot injuries" and "driving recklessly." It got worse. There was a "cutting injury with scraped skin," four "Gods," one "darn" and a "touching buttocks playfully." It's a pretty exciting movie when you break it down like that.
The strangest thing about the kid-drawing-decorated office is that the hallway talk is filthier than a "Friends" writers' room. Common work questions not only involve words that only drunk British men and "Deadwood" characters use, but how to categorize the moment in "Jackass" when a Matchbox car is put to inappropriate anatomical use. Not even 25 million rule combinations can keep up with the creative mind of Steve-O.
There's no doubt that these ratings will provide information that parents desperately want. But with satellite radio, digital cable and the Internet, you're an idiot to believe you have any control over the information your kids are getting. To combat that feeling of helplessness, we've convinced ourselves that we can quantify morality. We think that if we can identify concrete, quantifiable events that poison the soul, and then block them, we can prevent the overall corrupting influence of society. This leads us to insanely literal-minded interpretations of morality. Unable to stop a child from seeing T&A without a permanent blindfold, we redefine an exposed breast as a nipple and buttocks as the crack a thong covers. E! has entire shows based on this loophole.
So we have insane rules that permit horrific behavior as long as specific details are avoided. Howard Stern can say "f this" all day as long as he doesn't say the whole word. MTV has videos in which they bleep out the word "pot." We freak out about Janet Jackson's nipple but not the fact that Justin Timberlake was simulating sexual assault. Are the 23 "f-words" in "Gunner Palace," the Iraq war documentary, as harmful as the 20 in "Seed of Chucky"? Or any of the words in "Seed of Chucky"?
As unpleasant as it may be to let go of the fantasy of childhood innocence, isn't it more important to teach kids how to contextualize reality than to try to shield them from it? And even if I'm wrong, at least it's easier.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Joel Stein is a Los Angeles Times columnist. Comment by clicking here.
© 2005 Los Angeles Times
Distributed by Los Angeles Times Syndicate
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