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Jewish World Review March 9, 2005 / 28 Adar I, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The NCAA announces Sunday the sixty-four team field for the
men's basketball tournament. As the teams progress, casual
interest turns into nationwide frenzy. Steroids will never taint
America's true national pastime, gambling in the workplace.
Martha Stewart went to work Monday under house arrest. She
can turn anything into a fashion necessity. Don't be surprised if
next month Prince Charles unties an ankle monitor from Camilla's
leg and tosses it into a crowd of leaping groomsmen.
Congressman Tom Davis said Sunday he will subpoena any
ballplayers who won't testify about steroids. Lives are being cut
short due to steroid use. Last year one guy was eaten by a shark
when he swam out to retrieve a home run ball hit by Barry Bonds.
Syrian dictator Bashar Assad ordered his troops out of
Lebanon Monday. He cut it very close. The dictator knew he was in
trouble when Baghdad Bob's agent called him in Damascus Friday and
asked if he needed a comedian to work the invasion.
Kuwait was the site of feminist protests Sunday demanding
that women receive the right to vote in Kuwait. The country is way
behind the times. The number-one television show in Kuwait City is
Eight Simple Rules for Purchasing my Daughter.
Senator Robert Byrd was condemned by Republicans Thursday
for being a former member of the Ku Klux Klan. That was sixty
years ago. It must have worn off or otherwise he would be blaming
steroid use in baseball on the Jews and the Catholics.
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© 2005 Argus Hamilton | ||||||||||
