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Jewish World Review March 1, 2005 / 20 Adar I, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Queen Elizabeth won't attend the wedding of Prince Charles
and Camilla. It's way out of her purview. They had a thirty-year
affair in which she cheated on her husband and he cheated on his
wife, and Elizabeth is not head of the Church of Vegas.
Barry Bonds called a press conference last week to discuss
his knee injury. He refused to discuss steroids and denied all
wrongdoing and blasted the reporters. The team doctor examined the
interview and ordered him to rehab at the Nixon Library.
Hunter Thompson was eulogized on Sunday as a legend of
modern journalism. He loved to raise hell. The one lesson baby
boomers can teach young people is that you don't have to do
steroids to break Babe Ruth's record for most beers in one night.
The National Governors Conference met over the weekend in
Washington. They are an ambitious group. Four of the last five
U.S. presidents started as state governors, at least that's what
these guys tell the women they try to pick up in the elevators.
Egyptian president Hosni Mubarek stunned his country
Saturday by calling for democratic elections. It's a culture where
arms get chopped off for criticizing the government. To make sure
it's fair the election will be held by a show of hands.
Saddam Hussein's half-brother Sabawi Ibrahim al-Hasan was
captured Saturday in Iraq. The dominoes are falling. Osama bin
Laden is still limping around the mountains but we are advertising
Vioxx on Arab television in an effort to kill him.
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© 2005 Argus Hamilton | ||||||||||
