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February 13, 2012
Binyamin Rose: Back to the Bunker: How a life-risking act by a Christian family during the Holocaust saved a family and built a thriving community a world away
Menachem Wecker: Business Schools Teach Real Estate Despite Troubled Housing Market
February 10, 2012
Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
February 9, 2012
Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students
Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design
February 6, 2012
Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It
Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream
January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
March 30, 2005
/ 19 Adar II, 5765
Assessing our most precious possessions
By
Rabbi S. Binyomin Ginsberg
A seasoned educator gives guidance on how to maximize our children's ‘human portfolio’
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
More than forty years ago, a father sent his young son to a distant city to study.
It was a time before inexpensive flights and frequent flier miles but the father, wanting to check up on his son's progress, made the long, tiring journey.
When he arrived at the seminary, the father was asked why he didn't simply call.
"Let me explain," the father replied. "If I owned a factory in this city, distance or not, would I not personally come and check up on the progress of the business? Do you think I would just accept a phone report of my profits and losses? Would it be enough for me to review quarterly financial reports? No, I would be here."
Anyone who is responsible with an investment portfolio will occasionally have a professional review it. If a stock suddenly shows a significant decrease in value, we would run to the investment advisor with great urgency. Reviewing assets and materialistic belongings is very common and we consider ourselves irresponsible if we don't have a plan for review. In fact, you probably receive regular update
forms from your insurance company, asking you for details to evaluate the amount of coverage you have.
We all know that being underinsured can be problematic. This article will address the need for reviewing the portfolio of a different kind — of our most precious possession — our children.
We must identify who would be best to approach for some assistance in developing the "human portfolio". A child's teacher, principal, congregational leader, a family friend or relative are certainly good choices. Unfortunately, the professional "Offspring Counselor" doesn't exist.
It may be easy to review some investment numbers and suggest one investment over another. But really getting to know the characteristics and inner workings of a person requires great insight and wisdom. Parents are often too close to the situation to have a healthy, objective view of the strengths and
weaknesses of their own child. One may be able to have all that it takes to assist your friend in reviewing his child, but it is difficult to see your own child objectively.
Whether or not you have someone to go to for assistance, I suggest that the first step is to create an inventory of your child's strengths and weaknesses. Any format is acceptable as long as it details those areas with specific examples. You may want to begin by creating three lists — one of the child's greatest attributes, one of the child's greatest challenges and one of the areas that the child shows average results. The list will look very different, when completed at different ages during the child's development.
Below is what the list may look like for a nine-year old:
STRENGTHS
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My child shows great sensitivity to the pain of others. I know that because I see how he's overcome with emotion when he hears sad news.
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My child has a powerful memory. I know that because he can always remember phone numbers and addresses.
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My child shows much respect to his teachers and authority figures. I know that because they tell me the specific examples of his behavior and he always shows good marks on the behavior areas of the report card.
WEAKNESSES
- My child is highly unorganized. I know this because he usually forgets to bring home the work he needs at home from school.
- My child is very stingy. I know this because he never spends any part of his weekly allowance.
- My child has a bad temper. I know this because of the way he slams the door shut when he gets into a fight with his brother.
AVERAGE
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My child does acceptable work in school work. I know this because his grades are usually within the 80-
90 range.
- My child is friendly enough. I know this because at times he likes to have friends over, at times he goes to others and at times he likes to stay alone.
- My child understands physical hygiene within an acceptable range. I know this because he usually brushes his teeth.
Creating this list is no simple task the first time you do it. Once it is done, reviewing, grading and updating it is easy. It is best when this list is created by at least three people — the mother, the father and the child.
The child must be assisted with the completion of this form and must be assured that this
will remain private among the three of you. You will be amazed at the level of honesty your child will exhibit when creating such a list. To make it easy and understandable, we will call this list "the inventory".
For some people, writing this inventory will come easier than for others. For some it may be painful to face a serious analysis on paper of how one is faring and then have to confront a failure. As difficult as it may be, it becomes easier when we realize that with honest examination at an early stage in a person's development we can avoid much greater problems later on, when the failures and weaknesses are ingrained
and become much more difficult to change.
I have had situations when parents didn't know how to begin this process. Their paper remained blank. I told them not to worry. It doesn't mean that they don't know their child. This process requires some skill and objectivity. You may also be confused with some areas that show conflicted symptoms.
An example would be in determining if your child is stingy or a spendthrift. What do you write when you notice that your child will never spend money on others and spend lots of money on himself or the reverse?
What you will probably experience is that once you start working on this list, many doors will open for you. A greater understanding of your child will emerge. If you are brave enough, you may want to test the creation of such a list by writing an inventory on yourself — your own strength, weaknesses
and average areas.
How often this list is created is the next issue to be resolved. For this question there is no uniform response. Much depends on the child, his/her age and other variables. The steps that you take as a result of reviewing the inventory may call for more frequent updates.
That brings us to the question, now what? If you completed the inventory, the hardest part is now behind you. In a future column we will discuss how to use the completed inventory for growth and steady advantage.
I encourage you to use this exercise as a learning experience, conducted in a positive and non-confrontational manner. Serious self-examination can be stressful. Don't add to it by admonishing your child along the way and berating him/her for not doing better. Stay focused on the positive results of growth that will emerge from the process.
To be continued
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in Washington and in the media consider "must reading." Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Rabbi S. Binyomin Ginsberg is dean of Torah Academy in Minneapolis, MN. and a columnist for Yated Ne'eman. Let him know what you think by clicking here.
© 2005, Yated Ne'eman
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