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Jewish World Review March 17, 2005 / 6 Adar II, 5765 U.S. list of possible terror plots ‘not detailed enough,’ complains bin Laden By Andy Borowitz Rips ‘shoddy’ list on Al-Jazeera http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Hours after a Homeland Security Dept. list of ideas for terror attacks against the U.S. appeared on several public websites, al-Qaeda terror kingpin Osama bin Laden took to the airwaves to blast the list for being “not detailed enough.” Appearing on the Arabic-language Al-Jazeera network, a visibly angry Mr. bin Laden held up a copy of the list of terror attacks and said, “You call this a terror attack list? I could do a better terror attack list in my freaking sleep.” Mr. bin Laden said that the government’s suggestion that terrorists try to spread pneumonic plague in public bathrooms was “less than helpful,” adding, “It doesn’t even say where I’m supposed to get the pneumonic plague in the first place.” Ditto, the madman said, for the government’s suggestion of blowing up chlorine storage tanks: “It would have been kind of nice to know where those tanks are, guys — ever hear of Mapquest?” Speaking from his home, former Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge defended the quality of his department’s work: “It may not meet Mr. Osama bin Laden’s high standards, but we worked darn hard on that list.” For his part, Mr. bin Laden called the list “shoddy,” adding, “Right now, this thing reads like my wish-list at Amazon.” Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in Washington and the media consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. BOROWITZ'S LATEST "The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers"   This book has page after page of "news stories" too hot, too controversial, too   —   yes, shocking   —   for the mainstream press to handle. Sales help fund JWR. Andy's Archives Comment by clicking here. JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, the first-ever recipient of the National Press Club's Award for Humor, is a former president of the Harvard Lampoon,and a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. © 2005 Andy Borowitz