President Trump held a press conference Thursday and delivered a tour de force performance for seventy-eight minutes. He was funny, combative, informative, open and riveting. Trump was so entertaining he had Americans thinking this guy could host a reality show if he'd put his mind to it.
• Kim Jung Un's exiled playboy older brother Kim Jong Nam was murdered by North Koreans who sprayed poison in his face at a Malaysian airport. He screamed, stomped and waved his arms but no one helped him. They cheered and applauded thinking he was PSY performing his greatest hit.
• Congress will investigate the intelligence community over the Mike Flynn scandal next week. They want to find out who gave the press Mike Flynn's phone transcripts. On Thursday, President Trump vowed to jail all the low-life leakers, causing a brief panic in the Moscow hooker community.
• President Obama stood at a press conference Wednesday and said he was one hundred percent behind Israel. Earlier in the week, he ripped Germany for the country's open border policy. Okay, say Trump's critics, other than his support for Jews and his dislike of Germany, he's JUST like Hitler
• Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau and President Trump announced a joint measure to get more women involved as business decision-makers. It so happens Vladimir Putin's girlfriend just ordered a Russian spy ship to patrol the coast of France. She wants to hack into the new spring line.
Congress launched a probe into intelligence leaks to the press intended to sabotage the Trump presidency. Just this week, a Russian intelligence-gathering ship was spotted off the Connecticut coastline. It was first spotted on the Potomac River in Washington but it couldn't find any intelligence.
• President Trump in his press conference with Bibi Netanyahu said he can back a two-state or single state Israeli-Palestinian solution. U.S. policy in the Middle East is like the guy who hangs out a sign on main street that reads Veterinarian-Taxidermist. Either way, we'll get your dog back to you.
• President Trump got a pleasant surprise Wednesday when the Rasmussen Poll of likely voters came out showing Trump's approval rating has risen to fifty-two percent. It's there for all to see. Donald Trump brings the same thing to the presidency our Founding Fathers did-powdered wigs.
• The White House is reportedly weighing David Petraeus for a top security job. His career went south in 2012 following a French farce in which he flirted with his dinner host in front of his wife and his mistress-biographer. He's now teaching at USC where no one understands what he did wrong.
• Russia accused Americans of paranoia over the possible Russian role in the demise of National Security Advisor Mike Flynn. A little paranoia is healthy. Last night my ears were burning because I thought someone was talking about me, till I realized I was just talking on my Samsung smartphone.
• CBS Radio said a deep-sea fisherman in the Florida Keys accidentally reeled in a Great White Shark that was twelve feet long weighing an estimated three thousand pounds. The fisherman learned something important when the shark landed in his boat. He learned that adrenaline is brown.
• New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was invited to join the president for lunch at the White House on Valentine's Day Tuesday. Apparently Trump felt he owed Chris Christie a romantic dinner after screwing him out of Attorney General, Homeland Security Director and the vice presidency.
• Vice-Admiral Harward was nominated National Security Advisor Wednesday and tasked with preventing terror attacks, Why would ISIS waste warriors by sending them to commit terrorist acts in the U.S.? Before they could pull their detonator button, they'd get killed by all the partisan bickering.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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