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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Feb 26, 2014 / 26 Adar I, 5774

Mr. Smiley Testing My Patience

By Ana Veciana-Suarez



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Parenting, my husband tells anyone who will listen, is the last stand of the amateur.

This rings particularly true when children pass through the fun house known as adolescence. No matter how patient or strict or understanding parents try to be, the teenage years test our mettle and our sanity. We're suddenly stupid beyond our years, an embarrassment to the family.

Note here: I know I will receive letters from parents whose teens sailed through this stage with nary a problem. No pierced noses, no dyed hair, no experimental sex, no drug habit, no broken curfews, no sullenness or rebellion. Good for you. Chalk it up to karma, good luck or Divine blessing.

I, on the other hand, think of the teens (and the early 20s) as the lost years. Or the Alien Era. This is the period in our children's lives when hostile spirits inhabit their bodies. They become something other than themselves.

Actually, so do we. We turn into our parents.

I've been thinking about this stage of development because my youngest is in the throes of raging hormones, chronic mood swings and acute back-talking. Of my five children, he is, by far, the sweetest, gentlest and happiest of the lot. As a baby, we nicknamed him Mr. Smiley because he navigated the tribulations of childhood with a winsome grin.

I thought I would be spared a final roller-coaster ride. Yeah, right.


His journey into early adulthood coincides with my twin granddaughters' Terrible Twos, a phase that serves as a tutorial for the teenage years. The other day, I had barely walked through the door when a stern-faced Ava confronted me in the hallway.

"No!" she shouted, pudgy hands flailing. "No! No! No!"

I had not a clue what she was no-ing me about, but I shuddered in recognition. "Get ready," I wanted to shout at my son. "This is just a preview."

A few days ago, I heard a Harvard pediatric neurologist talk about how the erratic behavior of two teenage sons prompted her to study adolescent brain development. Her conclusion: It's not what teens think but "how" they think that may explain their transformation.

Basically, the parts of the brain that enable judgment are the last to be wired. Hence, teens' surly, impetuous and self-centered behavior.

I'm not surprised. Other researchers poking around teens' gray mass have reached similar conclusions. Yet, in my case it's not science but personal experience that has enabled me to survive the trying years. Teenagers do grow out of this. They do, they do. My older children have taught me that.

I know that eventually my real son will return, but only after I've paid a ransom of heartache. One day, he'll call just to say hello. We will share, not argue. When he hangs up, I'll stare at the phone as if it had a life of its own.

Those calls will develop into requests for advice. About work. About love. About money. I'll swoon with delight.

That's when I'll drop the amateur status. Suddenly and once again, I'll be wise.

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Previously:


We're not forgetful, we just know too much

Why didn't I think of that? Another missed opportunity for invention

When being fair is really not, and other life lessons

Bridging the Generation Gap Has Gone Too Far


Ana Veciana-Suarez is a family columnist for The Miami Herald



© 2014, The Miami Herald Distributed by Tribune Media Services, Inc.

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