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Jewish World Review
Feb. 6, 2013/ 26 Shevat, 5773
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Step for Nut Jobs
Every now and then someone comes up with a really, really good idea. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's worth taking note.
Here's the best one I've heard in a long time. Iran's president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, wants to be shot into space. He wants to be the country's first astronut -- oops -- astsronaut.
"I am ready to be the first human to be sent to space by Iranian scientists," he said, according to a report by Reuters.
About a week ago, Iran sent a monkey into space. In 2010, it sent a mouse, a turtle and worms into space. There's a cheap joke here somewhere but taking a stab at it is beneath me.
If this isn't simply more crazy talk from Iran's crazy president he not only would be his country's first human in space, he would also be it's first chucklehead in space.
When Ahmadinejad visited New York a while back the streets were gridlocked what with all the security measures the authorities were taking. But he managed to make all his appointments without being late to even one. How did he do it? They let him drive in the Holocaust Denier Lane.
I promised I wouldn't make any cheap jokes at Mahmoud's expense and I didn't. That was Jon Stewart's cheap joke. I just report the news.
And if he does go up in a rocket he'll need a special interpreter to share his thoughts with the world - someone who can lie in two languages.
Hey, blame that one on Jay Leno.
Finally - and this is both important and really, really serious my friend and reliable source (who I will call Burt) tells me Ahmadinejad's announcement was greeted with great rejoicing by cheering millions in the streets of Iran until word went out that he intended to return.
Insert rim shot here and then re-read the headline above.
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JWR contributor Bernard Goldberg, the television news reporter and author of several bestselling books, among them, Bias, a New York Times number one bestseller about how the media distort the news. He is widely seen as one of the most original writers and thinkers in broadcast journalism. Mr. Goldberg covered stories all over the world for CBS News and has won 10 Emmy awards for excellence in journalism. He now reports for the widely acclaimed HBO broadcast Real Sports.
He is a graduate of Rutgers University, New Brunswick, New Jersey and a member of the school's Hall of Distinguished Alumni and proprietor of BernardGoldberg.com.
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© 2011, Bernard Goldberg