Jewish World Review Feb 23, 2012/ 30 Shevat, 5772
The News in Zingers
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Whitney Houston's dress and earrings that she wore in The Bodyguard were auctioned in Hollywood Tuesday. There's a lesson for everyone in show business. If you don't want your wardrobe sold the day you die never give your clothes to your coke dealer as security.
Magic Johnson launched a black TV network Tuesday as part of a Justice Department deal with Comcast to help minorities. That's nice. It's an important program to help disadvantagd businessmen who just sold their share of the Lakers for forty million dollars.
The New York Mercantile Exchange saw oil hit one hundred six dollars per barrel on Monday, sending gas prices and food prices through the roof. The cost of living is about to skyrocket with no end in sight. Economists say those hit hardest should consider dying.
President Obama released a million acres of Gulf of Mexico waters to offshore drilling Tuesday. That should help drivers quickly. Gas prices hit an all-time low during the oil spill when you could drive through Popeye's shrimp and throw them directly in your tank.
Iran was named America's top enemy by thirty-two percent in the Gallup Poll. That's not something that can be decided with some Gallup poll. We need to hold tryouts for America's Greatest Enemies and rely on Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul to decide for us.
Greece agreed to a a hundred seventy-two billion dollar bailout Tuesday with the EU and bankers in Hamburg and Berlin. The country will have to endure severe social belt tightening, fiscal order, and German supervision. Eventually even continents revert to type.
NASCAR dropped the Dukes of Hazards General Lee as pace car in Phoenix due to the Rebel flag on the roof. It's a futile attempt to attract black fans. African-Americans will never attend an event where there are more earls in the beer line than in the House of Lords.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton