Jewish World Review Feb 21, 2012/ 28 Shevat, 5772
The News in Zingers
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | President Obama had to sit on the runway at L.A. Airport and wait for an approaching Cessna that crossed into the president's take-off space Friday. The plane was smuggling forty pounds of pot from Mexico. It's the only type of flight with priority over Air Force One.
George Washington's Birthday will be marked at Mount Vernon Wednesday. He was loved for his brevity of expression. George Washington's first State of the Union speech lasted only two minutes, because if you're not going to tell a lie there's very little left to say.
President Obama dined in San Francisco's Chinatown Friday where the Chinese lady who owns the restaurant was photographed squeezing Obama's behind as she hugged him. It is worth the advertising. Now he's got a dumpling named after him, Dem Sum Buns.
President Obama campaigned in Seattle Friday where he gave an economic pep talk to the Pacific Northwest. He wants them to cheer up. The recession is supposed to have ended last year, and there's no reason the state of Washington should have to continue to sell apples.
Al-Qaeda's Umar Abdul-Muttallab got life Friday for trying to blow up a Detroit-bound airliner three years ago. He hid a bomb in his underwear but he failed to detonate it on landing. Al-Qaeda leaders used Google Earth to see Detroit from a satellite and thought they'd succeeded.
Pat Buchanan was fired by MSNBC Friday after ten years on the air. They'd only kept him around to help MSNBC hosts make conservatives look bad. They're trying get Dan Quayle to join the network and fill that role but so far he's not stupid enough to fall for that.
Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad issued a decree Friday allowing for an opposition party to operate in Syria but the U.S. dismissed the move. It's been reported the CIA has begun infiltrating Syria. No one's sure how long they will be
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton