Jewish World Review Feb 17, 2012/ 24 Shevat, 5772
The News in Zingers
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Mount Vernon announced plans to host a big party on George Washington's birthday Wednesday. Americans will always regard him with special admiration. He's the only president who didn't blame the problems of the country on the previous administration.
Rick Santorum soared crazily past Mitt Romney in the GOP polls Tuesday. The voters have swung wildly this year from Bachmann, to Perry, to Newt to Mitt to Santorum. It's the kind of chart that would convince a celebrity pharmacist to give you anything you want.
Tony Bennett stunned his audience while saluting Whitney Houston at the Grammys after-party Sunday by calling for the legalization of all drugs. No one could believe it. He could be run out of show business for campaigning for Ron Paul at an entertainment event.
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie ordered flags lowered to half-staff for Whitney Houston's funeral in Newark. It sounds like another case of enabling by public officials. Whitney died only hours before the mayor of Los Angeles could present her with the Kilo to the City.
President Obama weighed reducing the U.S. nuclear stockpile to only three hundred warheads. It would eliminate our capacity to rule the world. The only possible explanation is that Obama thinks he can remain president for life if he takes the only fun out of the job.
President Obama hosted a lunch for Chinese vice president Xi Jinping Tuesday. He is China's next leader and anxious to learn more about other cultures. He was delighted to meet President Obama's daughters Sasha and Malia and asked them where they worked.
Hillary Clinton lobbied the White House Thursday to head the World Bank. The bank sells AAA bonds to rich nations, loans the money to poor nations, profits from the interest, then writes off Third World loans in return for U.N. support. You'd have to study under Bernie Madoff to get better training for this job than she received in Chicago and Arkansas.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton