Jewish World Review Feb 16, 2012/ 23 Shevat, 5772
The News in Zingers
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Oliver Stone's twenty-five-year-old filmmaker son Sean converted to Islam while he was in Iran Tuesday. He changed his name to Ali in a Shiite conversion rite. You know how every generation wants to do better than their parents at attacking the United States.
Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer was robbed at home by a machete-waving thief who made off with a thousand dollars. Democrats worry. The timing couldn't be worse for the fate of ObamaCare if it's true that a conservative is a liberal who's just been robbed.
President Obama is flying to Southern California Thursday for campaign fundraisers in Beverly Hills. The town is different. Many courthouses have a statue of Lady Justice sitting blindfolded next to the scales, only here the statue is known as Celebrity Pharmacist.
The Beach Boys marked their fiftieth anniversary in Los Angeles Saturday by singing at the Grammy Awards. Surfing has lost its popularity to the Internet. Back in the Sixties, you could surf or you could watch porn, but you couldn't do both at the same time.
Tiger Woods collapsed in the final round of the AT&T Sunday when it looked like he might have a chance to win. No one knows where his career's headed. All the great racehorses win the big races and then get put out to stud, but Tiger did it the other way around.
China News agency announced Thursday that a woman in Shanghai just gave birth to a fifteen-pound baby boy on the eve of the Chinese New Year. Everyone in China is rightly proud of the infant. He's not yet a month old and he's already doing the work of two babies.
Apple stock roared past five hundred dollars a share Tuesday after passing Exxon as the most valuable company in the world. The stock price is misleading. You'll know that the tech company is worth more than the oil company the first time we invade a nation for their Internet cafes.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton