Jewish World Review Feb 10, 2012/ 17 Shevat, 5772
The News in Zingers
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | India News reports three Indian lawmakers resigned Sunday after they were caught watching porn on their iPhones during a debate. They're a relatively new democracy. It's understandable that some amateurs can't screw the taxpayers without a little coaching.
President Obama was swamped by Catholic protests Thursday over his ObamaCare coverage rules. They require every policy in America to pay for birth control without a deductible. From now on, there's no such thing as a free lunch unless it's a nooner.
The University of Pennsylvania admitted selling morning-after birth control pills in a Student Union vending machine. There are condom machines in the men's room. So the morning-after pill machine is only fair for women who meet a guy without exact change.
San Diego's Sea World was sued by PETA which claims its whales are slaves. That's so true. You can tell Southern California was part of the Confederacy the way the crowd goes wild when a killer whale leaps out of the tank to pick cotton while chirping Old Man Ocean.
President Obama flip-flopped Sunday and agreed to allow his backers to form a Super PAC. As president, he could offer exemptions from regulations to companies that donate. It prompted the Building and Safety Department in Chicago to give him their Distinguished Alumni Award.
North Dakota University's president restored the school's Fighting Sioux mascot this week. They don't believe it's demeaning at all. North Dakota is enjoying a huge oil boom and full employment and that always entitles you to an Indian dance at halftime in this country.
Italian prosecutors were reported set to file manslaughter charges against the Costa Concordia's captain. They'll never get him for manslaughter. The captain said he has three cocktail waitress and a maitre d' ready to testify he was nowhere near those passengers.
The Secret Service seized a man near Mitt Romney Monday who was about to throw glitter all over the candidate. Security has been on high alert for glitter bombers. No one is going to trust and no one's going to fear a Commander-in-Chief who sparkles on camera.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton