Jewish World Review Feb 8, 2012/ 15 Shevat, 5772
The News in Zingers
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Pennsylvania began drug testing welfare recipients Monday. Also, Florida's got a bill that bans people from buying sweets with food stamps. If you want free candy or free drugs in this country, you'll have to get them the old fashioned way and get in the guy's car.
People magazine reported that Demi Moore checked out of an L.A. hospital and went to a rehab Sunday to completely clean up. The article said she'll be staying in a facility where there is no alcohol, no tobacco, no drugs and no caffeine. She checked herself into Utah.
President Obama blamed the Founding Fathers for his inability to force change on America. Now it's the framers' fault. He'd like a politically correct, racially diverse and environmental nation but the problem is and always will be, no Romans, no running water.
Nancy Pelosi stood by President Obama's decision to require Catholic hospitals to provide condoms. She reminded reporters she's a San Francisco Catholic. That means the confession booths have bathrooms and refrigerators because people are in there so long.
Mitt Romney won the Nevada GOP caucuses Saturday with a sizeable margin over his rivals. His support is shallow across the board. Forty-percent of the Republicans who voted for Mitt Romney tell Gallup pollsters they really liked him on the Carol Burnett Show.
The U.S. and Britain withdrew ambassadors from Syria Monday and called for Syria's dictator to step down. The regime is teetering. In the past year both Egypt and Libya have fallen, but if Syria remains standing it will leave President Obama with an open frame.
China negotiated bailing the EU out of its debt crisis Monday but assured the world it has no intention of buying Europe. There's no defense. NATO was organized to keep Russia out of Europe, but unfortunately the bankruptcy laws are designed to let China invade.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton