Jewish World Review Feb. 24, 2011 / 20 Adar I, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Donald Trump was shown in a Newsweek survey Monday trailing President Obama by only two points. He appeals to voters angry over America's declining international prestige. Americans want a president you wouldn't dare not invite to the Royal Wedding.
Moammar Khadaffi stood under an umbrella in his bombed out home Tuesday and vowed defiance as his Air Force turned on him. It's the end for Moammar and his brothers LarryMar and CurleyMar. Who else but stooges would hide from bombs under an umbrella?
Moammar Khadaffi went on a nutty TV rant Monday during his overthrow in Libya. It proves you can't fool all the people all the time. He's the third Arab dictator to fall this month for lying about his age by coloring his hair with Just for Dictators.
Libya's oil was seized by eastern tribal chiefs near Benghazi Monday. It's the world's lightest, sweetest crude. It's so valuable that tribal leaders say they will only part with it in exchange for being enrolled in the Wisconsin Teachers Pension Plan.
Wisconsin Democrats remained in hiding Monday to avoid losing a teachers union vote. Someone should paint a double yellow line around the earth. That's so Arabs rushing toward democracy don't crash into the state legislators rushing away from it.
Wisconsin teachers protests drew no media criticism for being as all-white as Tea Party rallies. It was something to see. The last time Jesse Jackson faced this many white people he was promising the people of Memphis he will be out of town by sundown.
President Obama said Monday the U.S. government should live on a budget just like U.S. families do. The government does live on a budget just like families do. That's why the Treasury Secretary was forced to get caller ID so he could duck China's calls.
Senator Scott Brown got aggravated Monday after interviewers kept quizzing him about being molested as a child. It's just one incident in his book. However, the moment he said the molestation only covers eight pages, John Boehner shut down the congressional page program until the investigators could arrive at the Capitol with the teddy bears.
Iranian-backed Hezbollah joined forces with Mexican drug cartel gangs Monday to bolster cartel drug operations. Islamic extremists are now operating just south of the Rio Grande River. For all the people who wish Israel could be moved to New Mexico, here's another reason why it won't save us any money on the defense budget.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton