Jewish World Review Feb. 18, 2011 / 14 Adar I, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The Westminster Kennel Club dog show in New York drew huge ratings for the USA Network Tuesday. The competition has become a must-see event. It's such a change of pace to see something roll over and play dead at Madison Square Garden other than the Knicks.
Facebook announced it's considering buying Twitter for ten billion dollars. This'd be like a marriage of two addictions. People waste so much time on Facebook and Twitter that companies have unlocked Computer Solitaire to make employees more productive.
NPR's American Life said they may have stumbled onto the Coca-Cola formula. The drink was an international sensation one hundred years ago when it had sugar, cocaine and chocolate in it. The Germans took one sip and decided that no river was going to tell them where to live.
House Oversight Chairman Darrell Issa was targeted by a Democratic front group Monday. They created a website to probe his past for any skeletons. Republicans don't have any skeletons in their closet, that's just Alan Simpson looking for his umbrella.
Boeing's Chairman James McNerney announced plans last week for Boeing to build a super-luxurious new passenger airliner. The company has christened the jumbo jet the Dreamliner. They say it can seat up to four hundred people, or two hundred Americans.
Donald Trump said Wednesday he may run for president as a fiscal conservative. He added he's not a fan of George W. Bush because Bush gave us Obama. That deserves the Oscar for Best Original Angle, because not even Obama ever thought of blaming Obama on Bush.
President Obama called on lawmakers of both parties to have an adult conversation with him on budget cuts. The offer took all the lawmakers by surprise. They never had an adult conversation where they didn't pay some operator or charge some lobbyist three dollars a minute.
Iranian warships sailed up the Suez Canal Wednesday headed for the Mediterranean where they scheduled ports of call in Cairo and Damascus. The beach bars are not that thrilled. Whenever Iranian sailors come out on shore leave, they paint the town beige.
Bahrain had protests Monday as a democracy wave continued roiling the region. It's a Mideast contagion. It's hit the leaders of Algeria, Libya and Iran, and at the Luxor Hotel in Las Vegas, Carrot Top was just forced to step down and share stage time with the people.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton