Jewish World Review Feb. 7, 2011 / 3 Adar I, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Muslim Brotherhood leaders demanded a role in Egypt's next regime Friday. They raise money through merchandise sales. They sell a Muslim Brotherhood talking Barbie but nobody knows what she says because nobody's got the nerve to pull the string.
The Egyptian Army began rounding up Western journalists Thursday by chasing them off the streets of Cairo and herding them into their hotel rooms. The reporters were not very happy. There was nothing in the mini-bars but goat's milk and cigarettes.
President Obama preached unity at the National Prayer Breakfast Thursday and he thanked Republicans for sitting with Democrats during his the State of the Union speech. It was a major moment. It took fifty-six years after Rosa Parks to integrate Washington D.C.
Michelle Obama applauded Charlotte's selection as host city for the Democratic Convention Thursday, saying it's famous for barbecue. It's not. The reason they wanted to praise the BBQ is they don't want people to think that pork is against the president's religion.
The Weather Channel said Friday that Chicago's blizzard Tuesday was the city's third heaviest snowfall in recorded history. It may take weeks to melt. There is so much snow in Chicago that Rod Blagojevich is trying to trade a U.S. Senate seat for a snow blower.
Camille Grammar told CNN about her marriage break-up with Kelsey Grammar Friday, saying he became too busy watching Fox News to cuddle with her. What an idiot. She's got no shot at alimony if she ruins his career in Hollywood by outing him as a conservative.
Taco Bell was hit by a lawsuit last week alleging it doesn't use real meat inside the tacos they sell. The lawsuit had an instant impact on their marketing. Taco Bell ads now end with a disclaimer stating that No Animals Were Harmed in the Manufacture of Our Tacos.
Charlie Sheen's rescue transcripts were released by the Fire Department Thursday and revealed that his next door neighbor heard the screams in Charlie's house and called the ambulance and saved him. The neighbor is a plastic surgeon. It's so common for an actor to be saved by a plastic surgeon that it didn't even make the local news in Los Angeles.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton