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Jewish World Review Science fair spurs on hyper parents By Celia Rivenbark http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | After six years of Science Fair projects, the Princess had never advanced beyond competition in her own school. Not because her projects hadn't been innovative, impeccably researched and masterfully displayed, but rather because the judges were idiots. OK, maybe not. The competition at these things is unbelievable, but more on that in a minute. This year, the seventh-grade Princess and her friend collaborated on a project that involved building an incubator to grow germs and then documenting that, yes, double-dipping chips and dips does transfer bacteria from one person to another. My task, as always, was to go to Staples and buy the tri-fold display board. I'm all about the Science. The project looked great, and the Princesses advanced to the county level of competition. Having never attended a countywide science fair before (who goes unless their own kid is in it, right?) let's just say it was an eye-opener. For starters, it's kind of a big deal. To the parents. You've heard of helicopter parents, the ones who hover and fuss over their prodigies endlessly? These were the Sikorsky Super Stallion helicopter parents. I, on the other hand, dumped the girls in the gym and went in search of the $3 pizza slice I'd seen advertised out front. I had to eat alone. All the other parents seemed to know each other from past competitions. There was a lot of "What's your project?" questions, but it was from parent to parent, not involving the kid. I am not implying for a minute that the kids don't do all their own work. I'm coming right out and saying it. The judges walked into the gym and there was a somewhat hysterical plea over the P.A. for "ALL PARENTS TO EXIT THE GYM." A couple of moms looked as if they might have to be tased to get out of there. Finally, the judges filed in, wearing lab coats and holding clipboards. "Their outfits are so cute!" I gushed to the mom beside me. She walked away. If I'd been a science fair experiment, I would've been "Corrosive Relationships." Two hours later, Duh Hubby and I sat in a packed auditorium among some very, uh, determined parents. I'd seen the competition and unless the Princess had cobbled together an atom-splitter, she was toast. On the way out, there was some sobbing, by the parents. As predicted, this would be the end of the line for our family. We held our heads high, having lost to a kid whose project title made us look at each other and say, "Do whaaaaaaat?" "We'll get 'em next year," I told the Princess. "No, we won't," she said. "Yeah, I know." Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here. Cat naps aren't all that popular among felines Nightmare in the mall's dead zone America: Cut out the need to be cute Taking a page from a ‘Mad’ mother She's adding truth serum to her Cap'n Crunch Snuggie ensnares another victim, er, admirer Florida can keep its snakes She's homeless . . . but for $95 she can go home with your princess Southern fish experiencing identity crises Monkey baby big business for the small-minded All mommixed up? Try keeping toes in a breath-mint tin Thunder thighs finally get revenge Where would I be without the digested read? 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I don't think so Honesty in the name of fashion Perfect attendance award is for little, viral losers Trendy new ailment not for everybody What is wrong with the women today who marry insanely rich and talented men and then think they still have to cook? Shagadelic on the dance floor Ex-boyfriends can have the worst timing Little wonder many voters are confused Sound bites not easy in Southern I swear it's not my fault Celebrity news gets weirder, trumps all else Driver's license? Outta my way while I get `em Like taking Miley Cyrus tickets from a baby Driving under the influence of celebrity Hugged your Webkinz today? Hate mail spawned by humor columns ‘High School Musical’ rocks to the max! Where did latest ‘syndrome’ come from? Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama Office gossip is protected free speech First-class corpse Song lyrics have only gotten dumber Talk to the clock because the ISP doesn't care Being a happy human vessel has its limits Who's not your daddy? Phoning for dazzlers Proper spelling begins at home Sick of the waiting room Road signs Halt your motion toward the lotion Sudoku's got my husband's number One short stack of smarts, please Spa me the kids IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness Girls' pajama parties a little different now Welcome back for guilt-free manly man A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs Girls' pajama parties a little different now When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome Ageless icons can't escape their ages Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy Kid bumper stickers sure not ‘terrific’ © 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services

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