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Jewish World Review Feb. 6, 2009 / 11 Shevat 5769 Fred Mertz for vice president By Celia Rivenbark http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | For some nutty reason, I've been picturing the Obamas and the Bidens as the Ricardos and Mertzes lately. They're a fun foursome but it's not always a blissful relationship. One gets the distinct impression that if they went to Hollywood for vacation, the Bidens would, somehow, end up being the ones to land a pie in William Holden's face at The Brown Derby restaurant. Joe and Jill Biden, both suffering from severe cases of foot-in-mouth, tend to have a lot of 'splainin' to do every time they step out, it seems to me. Most recently, there was the Missus Biden sitting on Oprah's famous couch and cheerily telling her that Joe could've picked either veep or Secretary of State, it was completely up to him. Rolling her eyes and clapping her pretty hand over her mouth, we could practically see the ghost of Lucy. Surely, a "Waaaaaaahhhhhh" wasn't far behind. Her husband, the king of gaffes, found himself in the odd position of saying, "Shhhhh" but it wasn't working. The Bidens, particularly Joe, have a "did I just say that out loud?" mentality about them. While Obama, the measured, cool and normally unflappable Ricky Ricardo of the bunch, tried to extend olive branches, cross over aisles and every other cliche you can think of to make nice-nice with the Republicans in the first days of his presidency, Joe Biden made a ham-handed jab at Justice Roberts' now famous flubbing of the oath of office. "My memory is not as good as Justice Roberts'," Biden quipped, sarcasm dripping from each word like, well, something that drips a lot. In a rare show of emotion, Obama's jaw visibly clenched and I could picture him, like Ricky leading Lucy home, sitting Biden down and waving a finger in his face while assuring him there would be no talent night at the Babalu for him. "Waaaaahhhhh." I'm guessing that Obama has wondered more than a few times if Biden was the best pick. A jolly, tail-wagging foil for Obama's crisp competency, it's an odd mix, this Lucy and Ricky. It's not that big a stretch, hons. Some of the stuff that Biden comes up with makes it sound as if he's been hitting the Vitameatavegamin pretty hard. At the Roberts' remark, Obama maintained a steely gaze while discreetly but firmly grabbing Biden's elbow. It's that same gesture that Ricky used to use when Lucy was about to make a pure-T fool of herself in front of Milton Berle. (Ask your parents.) It's the same gesture that every mom I know uses during a church service to get her squirmy kid to be quiet and sit up straight. Biden won't have any trouble sitting up straight but being quiet is hard for him. Not as hard as packaging candy on an assembly line with a broken conveyor belt, mind you, but still pretty hard. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here. Women and tools are like grease, water Runners are a different breed of folk altogether Don't get all bento out of shape For you, Princess? I'll buy junk Gwyneth P. needs big ol' reality check Reality show amuses yet repels viewer Spying on kid at summer camp awfully fulfilling Stars? Great outdoors? I don't think so Honesty in the name of fashion Perfect attendance award is for little, viral losers Trendy new ailment not for everybody What is wrong with the women today who marry insanely rich and talented men and then think they still have to cook? Shagadelic on the dance floor Ex-boyfriends can have the worst timing Little wonder many voters are confused Sound bites not easy in Southern I swear it's not my fault Celebrity news gets weirder, trumps all else Driver's license? Outta my way while I get `em Like taking Miley Cyrus tickets from a baby Driving under the influence of celebrity Hugged your Webkinz today? Hate mail spawned by humor columns ‘High School Musical’ rocks to the max! Where did latest ‘syndrome’ come from? Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama Office gossip is protected free speech First-class corpse Song lyrics have only gotten dumber Talk to the clock because the ISP doesn't care Being a happy human vessel has its limits Who's not your daddy? Phoning for dazzlers Proper spelling begins at home Sick of the waiting room Road signs Halt your motion toward the lotion Sudoku's got my husband's number One short stack of smarts, please Spa me the kids IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness Girls' pajama parties a little different now Welcome back for guilt-free manly man A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs Girls' pajama parties a little different now When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome Ageless icons can't escape their ages Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy Kid bumper stickers sure not ‘terrific’ © 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services

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