Jewish World Review Feb. 5, 2009 / 11 Shevat 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
President Obama infuriated liberals Monday by saying that his differences with the Republicans on the stimulus bill are slight. We've seen this before. In America you get elected by running to the left of Lenin and you get re-elected by governing to the right of Churchill.
Wall Street companies reported giving out eighteen billion in bonuses Thursday. It's awful. No one wants to say the bonuses are obscene but this month's centerfold in Hustler shows the spread between Wall Street's salaries and the rest of the country's.
Illinois former governor Rod Blagojevich became a national star last week during his battle to keep his job. He was thrown out of office for trying to get money he never actually got. That explains the incompetence count in the articles of impeachment.
Hillary Clinton announced Monday her first trip abroad will be to China, Japan, South Korea and Southeast Asia next week. She said she's especially looking forward to visiting Indonesia. She will never give up the search for Obama's birth certificate.
Cuba's president Raul Castro signed a partnership pact with Moscow Monday and brought best wishes to Russia from his brother Fidel. The man simply refuses to die. Every American president since Harry Truman has been survived by his wife and Fidel Castro.
North Carolina police broke up a cockfighting ring Sunday and arrested seventy people. They found a pile of dead roosters from earlier battles. Police were tipped to it last weekend when they noticed a lot of hens complaining about the man shortage.
President Obama was upset Friday that his image is being used to sell products. It's tricky. White House lawyers told him under the First Amendment there's nothing he can do, then Obama told the lawyers that under the First Commandment, you just watch.
HHS nominee Tom Daschle paid up one hundred and forty grand in taxes after his returns were examined Monday. Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner paid up thousands after he was vetted. The only thing scarier than getting a letter from the IRS saying you are getting audited is a letter from the White House saying you've been nominated.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2009, Argus Hamilton