Jewish World Review Feb. 28, 2008 / 22 Adar I 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Academy Award winner Tilda Swinton told reporters backstage Sunday she has two boyfriends in her life. She lives with both of them under one roof. It's perfectly legal in California as long as you pay a twenty-five dollar fee for the extra baggage.
Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch may be sold at auction in two weeks. He owes twenty-four million dollars on it. He's just another Californian who's losing his house, except the teaser that caused the problem was a Hershey bar and a ferris wheel.
Hillary Clinton debated Barack Obama for the twentieth time Tuesday on NBC. It was nothing we haven't seen before. At one point NBC was forced to separate them with Chelsea Clinton and a chocolate Labrador to prevent them from killing each other.
Hillary Clinton cited a Saturday Night Live skit to complain that Barack Obama gets worshipful press coverage. Reporters missed her remarks. They were standing in line to get into a arena where Barack Obama was performing the blessing of the microphones.
Fidel Castro made it clear Tuesday he is not fading away. He said he is still commander in chief, he heads the party and he won't give up his newspaper column. Half the political prisoners in Cuba are editors who have tried to cancel his column.
Reggie Bush blew off his deposition in San Diego Monday in the civil suit that alleged he took money and a house while he played football at USC. The NCAA still hasn't punished USC. If this infraction had been committed by Oklahoma or by the Clintons, they would have already had to forfeit every victory in the last twenty years.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton