Jewish World Review Feb. 26, 2008 / 20 Adar I 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Women's Media Foundation sought nominations Sunday for its Courage in Journalism award. That's easy. The bravest man in America is the one who woke up John McCain Monday with the news that all the major Academy Awards went to No Country for Old Men.
The Academy Awards ceremony aired live from Hollywood Sunday. The winners were careful onstage. Five years ago Michael Moore predicted that Saddam Hussein had no weapons of mass destruction, now everyone bugs him about what stocks they should pick.
The Kodak Theatre was the site of the Academy Awards Sunday as a light drizzle fell on Hollywood Boulevard. The red carpet was covered by a plastic canopy. In the camera shots from the helicopter it looked like the broadcast was sponsored by Trojan.
St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa tried and failed to get the team brass to sign Barry Bonds. He once managed Mark McGwire and Jose Canseco. Tony LaRussa has a master's degree in law and a doctorate who will inject anyone, no questions asked.
Fidel Castro resigned his office and announced he's going on a vacation Friday. He survived ten U.S. presidents who tried to get rid of him and he beat the odds last year on the operating table. Sears will never find a better spokesman for the DieHard.
Ralph Nader announced for president Sunday on NBC's Meet the Press. He cost Al Gore the presidency and today Al's got five hundred million dollars, an Oscar, and a Nobel Prize. William Shatner just asked Ralph Nader to run against him for the Emmy.
Hillary Clinton was criticized by her donors Friday for spending too much money on hotels and catering. She spent a fortune on four-star restaurants and hotels. Democrats believe that if you don't eat like a president you don't look like a president.
The U.S. Navy's successful demolition of a falling satellite caused a sensation in diplomatic circles around the globe. The missile was reconfigured in less than a month to hit a satellite, and it was fired from a Navy ship at sea, and it worked just perfectly. Michelle Obama said it made her feel moderately proud of her country.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton